hetalia | 108 Things Thailand Must Remember

[[ Thanks to Aluox's "101 Things That Thailand Must Remember" It inspires me to do this story of my own but I may have to maintain her style ]]

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Characters: Thailand, Germany, France, Taiwan, Cambodia, Vietnam, mention of Indonesia, Malaysia, Japan, America and Arthur's language.

Rating: Random

1) I will not smile at the unfortunate foreign pedestrian who I almost ran over.
2) - That person will think I was laughing at him.
3) - Honestly, I intended to apologize for hurting him.
4) - He should know my smile is an apology.
5) - Maybe he doesn't know there are 16 meanings of the Thai style smile.
6) - I should have said 'I'm sorry' to him.
7) - But we Thais suck at English so only air came out from my mouth.
8) I will use a serving spoon every time when I eat with guests.
9) - They will think that I use the same spoon I've just put in my mouth.
10) - Not for family anyway.
11) I will do 'Planking' instead of doing 'Pub-Piab Thailand'.
12) - To show that at least I'm in trend.
13) I will not reply "No, I didn't go, I went to market"
14) - When I was asked by a question "Where did you go?"
15) - The asker will think I'm insane.
16) I will try not to burst out laughing when a man bumped his head into a pole.
17) - Foreigners will think I have the most innocent sense of humor.
18) - I love slapstick humor. Throw the sarcasm away I don't understand it.
19) I will try to laugh with the manly macho laugh rather than my usual sweet giggle.
20) - I don't want to be thought that Thai men are often very feminine.
21) - Even though the teens dress in a gothic or punk rock style, but walk around with a teddy bear under their arms, or a furry baby hat on their heads.
22) - It looks unmatched.
23) - Saying 'Anyone in my house does' certainly is an unwise excuse.
24) I will not add ketchup whenever I eat pizza.
25) - And I will not use fork & knife to slice it.
26) - Most westerners don't do that. They eat with their hands and don't add ketchup.
27) I will not quickly run to a strange shaped tree or any object and scratch it.
28) - Others will think I'm insane.
29) - In fact, it's the way of us to get the numbers for lottery.
30) - Including guessing numbers from the license plate of the King's car.
31) - Although it often makes me win a prize in lottery.
32) I will pretend to use a calculator when studying Maths.
33) - White people will be blinking at my fast reckoning.
34) - Not weird, it's normality of Asian people.
35) I will practice driving in the right lane.
36) - To not get confused when I drive across my neighbouring countries.
37) - Or most countries in the world.
38) - Except for Malaysia, Singapore, Indonesia, Japan, India and southern Africa.
39) I will not add chilli and garlic in every dish I cook.
40) - Germany doesn't like it.
41) Well, I will not add sugar in noodle soup and every dish I cooked.
42) - France thinks it's weird for adding sugar in it.
43) - Many other people also think.
44) - So I will tease France by adding at least a handful of sugar.
45) I won't say the full name of Bangkok, I will get exhausted.
46) - Unless people request me to do so.
47) - I'll give them the song 'Bangkok' instead of saying it by myself.
48) - It can take at least 3 lines to write in here.
49) Including saying or writing my name and surname.
50) - Foreigners will pass out before they finish saying my name.
51) - More than 12 syllable names of people are normal in my house.
52) I will not get mad when someone thinks Bangkok is a country which has Pattaya as the capital.
53) - I will pray for them to be at least a little smarter in their next life.
54) - I forgot, they don't believe in reincarnation.
55) - Let it be, the stupidity can't be cured in one day.
56) I will not get mad when people think that I use Chinese language.
57) - Including the misunderstanding that Thailand is a province in China.
58) - As I said, stupidity is not easy to be cured.
59) - Google map, google images, and google search engine are their best doctors.
60) - Sadly, why don't they use it?
61) I will try to pronounce my country's name more clearly.
62) - It's my fault for not pronouncing my house's name clearly.
63) - Not foreigner's fault for calling me 'Taiwan'.
64) - English is not my first language, so it's not my fault anyway.
65) I will not say 'I've never been colonized so I'm awfully bad at English'
66) - I will get hated.
67) - Because it's an untenable assertion.
68) - And insulted for being a frog in the well.
69) - Since my language is not universal, I should be more active to learn English.
70) - I'm lazy to read grammar books.
71) Neither to read anything in foreign language nor to even read in Thai.
72) - I'm lazy ana~
73) - Most of my time is spent watching TV and playing games.
74) I will warn anyone who thinks that a handsome boy is a real boy.
75) - In fact, those boys may be girls, or so-called 'Tomboy'.
76) This situation can be used when they meet beautiful girls as well.
77) - They may be trannies.
78) - I have no method to distinguish between real girls and shemale people either.
79) - I'm often fooled by their very feminine looks too.
80) I will deny the Muslims as politely as I can when they served me beef satay.
81) - Many Thai people don't eat beef. It's a prohibited meat or a social virtue.
82) - I'm speaking of Thai-Chinese. Native Thais generally don't deny eating beef.
83) I must remember that adding seasoning is improper in Japan and many European countries.
84) - They think I underestimate their cooking skills.
85) - But if I forgot I will say 'Sorry sorry, Vietnam style'
86) - Vietnam will hit me with her paddle.
87) - And hate me.
88) - But it works.
89) I will not declare myself a Thai when in Cambodia.
90) - It would be like I'm a Jew in Nazi Germany.
91) - I think I have to know more about Vietnamese words.
92) - To disguise myself although my Vietnamese accent is so Thai.
93) - Except for being in Poipet.
94) I will recommend visitors my own 'toilet hand sprayer'.
95) - Because toilet paper rolls are empty so often.
96) - I have seen many westerners bought it to their houses.
97) - They told me 'It makes toilet a heaven'
98) I will wear trousers properly when I take passport photos.
99) - Usually, I wear a formal suit, but I wear shorts and flip-flops.
100) - Why must I wear trousers? Photo requires the upper body only, doesn't it?
101) - Thailand, see #22 please.
102) I will not have my nails painted.
103) - Though it's now a fad.
104) - People will misunderstand I'm gay.
105) Neither hold hands with my friends nor sleep in the same bed with them.
106) - We're friends, nothing more than that. I am not gay, I am a 100% man.
107) Crossdressing is my temporary hobby, but I promise I'll not do it too often.
108) - Or else I'll be misunderstood that I'm also a ladyboy.

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::: NOTE :::

[11] 'Pub-Peab Thailand' is a trend the Thais create to compete with 'Planking'. Pub-Peab is one of Thai formal sitting poses. It was purposely designated for women, but it has become a general sitting pose of everyone. This trend used to be mentioned by international media. See this as examples --> https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.112261672197085.21733.111894685567117

[21] That unbelievable fig can be seen in his 'Siam Square' area, a large shopping and entertainment area in the inner Bangkok, where is full of fashionable teens and many nerds who go there for learning in cram schools.

[24] Most of Thai people think that western food should be eaten with knife & fork, to imitate western style. But, as far as I know, not sure actually, American generally use their hands and don't add ketchup when eating pizza and KFC. Likewise, the French don't eat baguette by slicing, they tear it into pieces with their hands.

[27] It's a normal scene to find people very addicted to illegal lottery. They can even imagine any odd stuff such as 3-legged chicken, tree which its shape looks like human, blahblahblahblah. In my view; Thailand is always proud to declare himself as the world's largest Buddhist country, but many groups of uneducated or illogical people believe in things without profound consideration. Buddhism teaches people not to believe in anything that easily, everything must be supported by true and provable origins and evidences. Sadly, people's blilnd worship remain unchangeable.

[32] Thai primary students have been urged to memorize multiplication table and heavily urged to calculate or solve Maths problems as fast as they can.

[35] Thailand is one of very few countries which has left-hand traffic. Driving seat on the right side. But his nearest neighboring countries such as Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam and Myanmar use worldwide right-hand traffic.

[41] If you have a chance to try his street food especially his rice and curry, there is a glass or small bowl of fish sauce with pieces of sliced fresh chillies. If you have noodle soup, there always is seasoning provided on the table which typically consists of (1) Fish sauce (2) caster sugar (3) vinegar (4) ground dried chillies. To me, I also think that it's weird for adding sugar in noodle. I can't imagine how the taste will be......

[45] His full name of Bangkok is listed by Guinness Book of Records as the world's longest place name. Eh? Want to know the full name? All right, sit down and take a nap if you want.

"Krung Thep Mahanakhon Amon Rattanakosin Mahintharayutthaya Mahadilok Phop Noppharat Ratchathani Burirom Udomratchaniwet Mahasathan Amon Phiman Awatan Sathit Sakkathattiya Witsanukam Prasit"

Satisfied?

Local school children are taught the full name and most Thais who can remember the full name tend to use a popular song, "Krung Thep Maha Nakhon" by Asanee-Wasan Chotikul.

[49] Thai people's names often amaze foreigners by their very long name and surname. See this, I will use 'O' as one syllable: "OOO OOOO" or "OOOO OOOO" or "OOO OOOOOOO" or "OOOO OOOOOOOOO". Well, my friend has "OOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOO". Some noble Thais have "OOOOOOO O OOOO" or "OOOO OOOOOO O OOOO"

[63] A very common misunderstanding.

[65] A very brainless phrase which was out from the Minister of Education. FACT: Once, there was a strong policy to support English curriculum in every public school and raise English to be the 'Second language'. But....ana~ Our 'smartest' minister and cabinet said 'Thailand doesn't need to use English as the second language like other countries since it will mislead other people think that Thailand used to be colonized by western power" ----- WISE?

[74] Just see these tomboys --> http://board.postjung.com/530308.html

[75] To the rest of the world- tomboy = "masculine" women/girls, regardless of sexual orientation; In Thailand- tomboy = butch lesbian. Yeah, we like to fuck up vocabulary and take it as our own.

[76] Just see these ladyboys --> http://www.dek-d.com/board/view.php?id=1591747

[82] Many Thai-Chinese have strong belief in the Guan Yin Chinese goddess. And her father was cursed to be a cow so eating beef means you disrespect the Guan Yin. || Once, I unintentionally (I didn't know it was beef) ate beef and my grandma forced me to redeem by means of eating vegetarian food for 1 month and went to shrine every Sunday to pray as an apology.

[85] It's actually a line from a stand-up comedian "Udom Taephanich"

[89] It's too bitter for me to mention the reasons why Cambodian... ana~ In brief, it was caused by political crises and historical antagonism.

[90] In the year 2000, Thai people who were in Cambodia were hunted and.... ana~ (Like the case of Indonesia's 1997 Massecre of ethnic Chinese)

[91] Cambodia and Vietnam have tight relationship.

[93] Poipet is a Cambodian town on the Cambodia/Thailand border where is extremely popular as a gambling destination for Thai people, but illegal in Thailand.

[94] My own word to describe toilet hand sprayer is the 'Ass Splasher'

[99] This is quite enough and clear in itself --> http://twitpic.com/1mm3ll

[105] Holding hands with friend of the same sex is not forbidden. Man can hold hand with man, girl can hold hand with girl.

108 Things Thailand Must Remember

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