[fanfic] The Merits of Fictional Heroes

[luv-blindly.livejournal.com]

Title:  The Merits of Fictional Heroes
Author/Artist: luv_blindly
Character(s) or Pairing(s): Canada, America, England, Japan, France, Australia, Italy, Germany
Rating: T
Setting: Um, modern day, I suppose
Warnings: Silly. Totally and completely silly.

Summary:  Among other things, they have too much time on their hands, and often discuss unimportant, ridiculous things. This time, it was superheroes.

(Inspired by seeing the Wolverine movie last night and an article on Cracked.com. Loving Deadpool and Gambit a little too much. Give me a break--it took four movies for Gambit to show up, and I thought Deadpool would never even get near a movie)

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"I still say Superman is the best," America's arms are folded across his chest, and he is staring indignantly at France.

"Absolument pas! Clearly, if there was a contender, it'd Batman"

"You mean the Zorro rip-off?"

"Shut up, Italy!" America snaps. England's head is in his hands.

They are sitting outside a lovely cafe in London, surrounded by England's people and visitors from all over. It really was a lovely afternoon and for once the nations had been getting along without much conflict (but for the conversation of long gone days that pushed the younger nations and a much removed Japan to the fringe, and had Germany only shrugging, for he could not remember). Then America had started going about his movies (like he always did).

And lately, the trend in America's movies had been superheroes. (Though ask of America's movies almost 100 years before and Japan would have been quietly taking notes on the animation)

Australia reclines in his chair and soon his feet are on the table with the clunk of rubber soles on metal. He gets a dirty look from more than just one of the nations, as Germany does not appreciate the clay-crusted boots so close to his stein of ale.

"Yer both wrong. It's Green Lantern."

America cocks an eyebrow.

"How so? He's beaten by the color yellow!"

Australia grins, and it's a little disconcerting, considering that most of the European blood in his veins came from convicted criminals.

"As I recall, he almost destroyed the universe there. Under evil control, yeah, but no one else can do that in DC."

America sputters, at a loss for once. England lets a smile loose. He has trouble getting along with Australia sometimes, but now he is enjoying the silence from America. Australia is still grinning, all teeth.

"How's Superman the best, eh?"

America shakes his head, and his hands are flat on the table as he leans towards his almost-brother (England has so many children).

"Come on, it's Superman! He can fly! He's superstrong! He's noble, and humble!"

Germany reclines in his seat.

"He's boring. He can do no wrong," Germany turns his head, more interested in pigeons in the square. In the back of the nation's minds it registers that Germany's leader in those days had been looking for the "Superman", and the conversation stalls uncomfortably.

Canada sips his coffee and says, "I like Marvel better."

Italy follows Canda's example, sips his espresso and cheerily nods.

"Spiderman's the greatest hero!"

"I prefer the X-Men," Japan counters, "but Batman isn't bad either."

"Ah, the X-Men," France is nodding in deep appreciation, "I like them too. Especially that Gambit."

"You just say that because he's Cajun, you self-important moron," England replies. France shoots him a look, and they seem inclined to begin to start physically fighting when Canada speaks up.

"W-why don't we do this; we'll go around and everyone will state their favorite hero..er, superhero," he amends when he sees the history in some of the elder nation's eyes, "and why you like them. America and Australia, you already went, so I guess we'll start with England."

England turns from glaring at France.

"I liked The Question," the nation responds, "he was a superb detective, better than Batman some of the time. He's a little odd and misunderstood. His disguise was genius--he had a mask to achieve this 'blank face' look. Odd sense of justice, too--a conspiracy theorist"

America looks at England, as if something is familar about the subject.

"What?"

" That sounds like Ror---"

"That's because Moore made a parody of him in Rorschach," England snaps. Honestly. He was avoiding picking from Moore's work after "Lost Girls" (mostly because he had known the authors of those books and Moore's turn with them had been wholly inappropriate).

"Alright now, Germany, it's your turn."

Germany thinks for a moment (but evidently not fast enough for Italy, who is tugging on his shirtsleeve. The blonde narrows his eyes at the brunette before responding).

"Eh, it is tough. I have always liked The Blue Beetle, but I think I like Nite Owl more now."

"Who's the Blue Beetle?"

"Semi-sentient armor from space. Very interesting. Italy, you're next."

Italy is beaming, and his mouth goes a mile a minute. What they can discern is something along the lines of, "Spiderman...best because...fighting despite the fact that it could ruin the rest of his life..and it's romantic.." and after that they lose track and Italy is going on in Italian now and they can't follow him.

Germany effectly silences him with a squeeze of a hand.

"France, yer turn," Australia eyes the remnant of a sandwich on the table and attempts to reach it without swinging his feet to the floor. France muses on the topic, silent for a strangely long time.

For minutes. The chatter of the crowd fills in the silence, which they put up with until it's obvious he's stalling.

"FRANCE!" England calls, smacking the back of France's head in a move America watches with amazement. He will later use this in one of his television shows.

"Ah yes, best hero...ah, Cyrano de Bergerac...," France stops, suddenly aware of the stares he is recieving.

"Super-hero, France. Super. Hero," Germany informs. France nods.

"Iron Man."

"Why?"

"He gets ladies"

And somehow none of them are surprised.

"All that's left is Canada and Japan. Japan?"

Kiku's answer is quick, to the point.

"X-23. She is efficent at what she does, but she is becoming more self aware. It is interesting to follow."

They all nod, and it is Canada's turn.

"I, um..well, I like Deadpool," he says, noting America's disdain but Italy's smile (Italy likes things skewed towards humor), "But I have to say the best hero is Wolverine. He's indescructible, kicks butt, and he's Canadian."

They are all quiet for a moment, and then, to Canada's amazement, they agree with him.

But only so much.

"Yeah, he's cool, but he was invented by an American writer..."

"....X-23 is cloned from him....."

"....funtowatchhimreact to spiderman'sbadguysanddealwith his mouth..."

"....played by an Australian..."

"...who does a lot of theatre..."

"...good romantic hero..."

Only Germany says nothing, merely shrugging.

Canada can't believe it. They all start chatting away about the merits of the Marvel movies. Canada lets his head fall to the table, biting his lip.

Even when Canada wins, he loses.

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Hal Jordan, aka the first Green Lantern, at one point became Parallax and caused the events of Zero Hour: Crisis in Time, where he basically tried to rewrite DC History. Later he becomes the Spectre to make up for that. Parallax is kind of...terrifying. And kills people. Parallax is why the GL Corps originally were weak against yellow--Parallax was trapped in the 'source' of the ring's powers. Derp derp, I are nerd.

"Lost Girls" is something Alan Moore (writer for V for Vendetta, Watchmen) came up with alongside his wife. It's Alice (Alice in Wonderland), Dorothy (Wizard of Oz) and Wendy (Peter Pan) meeting up and talking about their 'erotic adventures'. No I'm not kidding. >.< I'm sure it's wonderfully artistic or something but I'm just kind of put off that he'd do something like that.

Okay, you can all google the rest of those superhero things. Hal Jordan only got that explanation up there because that's way into his story line.

England gave France a Gibbs slap (NCIS). Cyrano de Bergerac is a fantastic story and I highly recommend Gerard Depardieu's turn as him (I cried).

One day I'll write something with France and his literary giants. But not today. This fic was sort of last minute for me. (And I'm trying to start writing stuff in the past tense, I swear. I just haven't for a while).

Comments

[musubi7.livejournal.com]

You managed to pull an NCIS reference in a Hetalia fic? Awesome!! :D

[abyssis.livejournal.com]

"Australia grins, and it's a little disconcerting, considering that most of the European blood in his veins came from convicted criminals" I love you for this line!! I had the biggest grin when I read that (considering the fact I have French, English, Scottish, Irish and a little Mediterranean in my family's history). This was an awesome read!

[mimes.livejournal.com]

THIS FIC IS VERY RELEVANT TO MY INTERESTS.
I am incoherent with my fangirlingness. Batman the Zorro rip-off? YESS. Germany being a gan of Blue Beetle? YESS. Canada liking Deadpool (YES) and just the whole ending overall? HELL YES.

A+++

Oh, and an extra YES for having Australia. Actually, screw it, this is all awesome.

[midare-shinami.livejournal.com]

Now I have the image of France as Iron Man in my head

With nothing but his mask on. Or at least with a rose stuck in the mask's mouth. :D

...Canada as Wolverine... you know what, I'll draw it. I'm afraid it will take me a lot of time, because I'm hopelessly slow, but it must be done.

[gingerkid88.livejournal.com]

Haha. This Aussie greatly enjoys your portrayal of Australia and the laziness that is us trying to get things without bothering to move. XD As well as our convict roots (that we happen to be scarily proud of...). Also. GO WOLVERINE. CANADIAN PLAYED BY AN AUSSIE? CAN YOU GET ANY COOLER? I DON'T THINK SO. (P.S. I always liked The Flash (Wally West version), Batman, The Question, Wolverine and Deadpool. XD)

[bbronco2008.livejournal.com]

I love this... XD Its so true... they'd all have a favourite superhero (focus on the 'super' part, because otherwise we ALL know Aussie-tan would be campaigning for Breaker Morant or Ned Kelly.. And England would be skitzo Jack The Ripper... Or not XD >.>) I've always been more towards *shot* Captian Planet myself... XD

[midare-shinami.livejournal.com]

OH BABY. Superheroes and Hetalia? Have my birthday come earlier this year? :D
When Germany said "Blue Beetle", I was sure he meant Ted Kord and squeed. On the other hand, the vision of Germany reading the current Blue Beetle is so adorable it makes me melt into a puddle of goo.
Thank you for sharing these. It was cute and highly revelant to my interests. :D
Also, +50 bonus points for Italy liking Spider-man. So cute.

[midare-shinami.livejournal.com]

(It's worth noting that Ted's an influence on Nite Owl, which is probably why Germany likes Dan in Watchmen)

Haha, yeah,I picked up on that, too. Originally Nite Owl was supposed to BE Ted - all characters from Watchmen were originally meant to be DC heroes, but DC said they had plans for them and Alan Moore had to come up with new characters.

[midare-shinami.livejournal.com]

I'm a comic philistine and the only thing by Moore I have ever read was "Old Gangsters Never Die", which, I must admit, was stunning. I have a dim idea of what "Watchmen" is about, thanks to the internet, and I really want to read it; but... yeah, not so sure about "Lost Girls"; a part of me wants to read it, BAD, and another tells me to save my childhood.

Oh yes he is. <3 Chubby superheroes ftw. *looking at you, Ted!*

[midare-shinami.livejournal.com]

Do you want me to send you "Old Gangsters Never Die"? It's only several pages long - a comic adaptation of a spoken piece; it's gorgeous, both in the terms of writing and art.

one artist in particular, Biigurutwin,had a little comic called "All Aboard the Owl Ship" which was just precious

YES. I've seen this, nearly died of cute. :D

[linademented.livejournal.com]

LOL Awesome! This REALLY reminds me of a fancy dress ball I attended abroad in London, and a bunch of guys from different countries were dressed as super heroes. And this one guy from Germany was dressed as Captain America. Then this happened:

Me: So I guess your Camptain Germany huh?

Guy: Nonono. (Points to his face) This is Captain America...(Points to his peniz) THIIIIS is Captain Germany!

[seileach67.livejournal.com]

Yay superheroes!! :D I really love Wonder Woman, but my favorite is probably Spiderman---I think it's because I related to him more due to the fact that his life as Peter Parker was more ordinary, closer to my and other kids' reality. (No butlers, vast secret lairs, etc.)
And I love the way you have the Hetalia characters relate to their choices! :D
If Greece had been there, he should have totally picked Wonder Woman, am I right? ;)