[scanlation] POST-RELEASE INTERVIEW

[konkira.livejournal.com]

A cute interview where the Axis Powers and the Allied Forces are asked what kind of girls they like.

Translation by nisecal (previously posted here), editing by konkira.






(original strip here)

Comments

[chairman-yao.livejournal.com]

*glares at Ivan blearily* ....you don't know me... *hic* aru.... I won't give up... *sudden, dramatic drunken wailing* Japaaaan... why did you do that, aru? You've changed *hic* Japan... Whyyyyy?

*is totally sobbing into the ends of your scarf*

[red-underthebed.livejournal.com]

Don't worry so much about it. You will definitely become friends again after you become one with me... *adds oil to the wok*

If you blow your nose in it I'll gut you.

[chairman-yao.livejournal.com]

...stop hitting on me... *pulls on the scarf looking for more dry areas, having made the ends wet with woe*

JAPAA -HAAAN -HAAAN! ...he used to be so nice you kn-...well no... he was quite rude... but he was very cute... sort of.... BUT NOW HE'S A MEAN PERVERT! WHYYY HYY HYYY!

*yanks, pulls, blows nose*

[red-underthebed.livejournal.com]

*choked!*

STOP! STOP PULLING! LOOK, YOUR SHINATTY-CHAN IS GETTING AWAY!

*Shinatty-chan scuttles hastily to freedom, dripping a wonderfully-scented trail of seasoning and marinades*

[chairman-yao.livejournal.com]

SHINATTY-CHAN HAS LEFT ME TOO!?

*Clutching the surprisingly absorbent scarf desperately with a 'squelch' Yao bawls inconsolably with renewed Vigor and Despair TM!*

[red-underthebed.livejournal.com]

L-let go! He will definitely come back to you!

*Ivan grasps at his neck, trying to loosen the scarf in any way possible. The Despair is infectious; unfortunately, the Vigor is not and Ivan starts to feel a little dizzy*

[chairman-yao.livejournal.com]

....ONLY IF I AM ONE WITH RUSSIA! AND I... THAT IS... *jerks the scarf suddenly, sniffling the most wretched sniffles in the whole wide world* ...THAT IS JUST SCARY, ARU!

[red-underthebed.livejournal.com]

I'm only stating the inevitable--nnnNNNK! *rasps* Stop...stop...

[chairman-yao.livejournal.com]

I do not like talking about such scary inebitil- inenvia- inevverab- things. *lets the scarf go... and on impulse, boots Ivan in the ass, collapsing into a round of drunken giggles*

[red-underthebed.livejournal.com]

*gasps for air* What I find scary is the number of times you've tried to kill me. Not even America-kun has done it so often...

*Ivan unwinds the damp scarf and throws it at the giggling mess on the floor* Here, it's yours now. I don't want it back.

[chairman-yao.livejournal.com]

*waves hand dismissively* It is scary how you keep surviving. Damn social imperialist.

*scarf lands on his head and he looks at it in wonder?/horror? for a few moments* ...You can take this off!?

[red-underthebed.livejournal.com]

*irritably* Of course. It is just like any other article of clothing. *Miraculously, he still has a long, billowing piece of cloth wrapped around his neck -- it would appear that Ivan sometimes wears more than one scarf at a time*

If you're clear-headed enough to make retorts, then you aren't as smashed as I thought you were...why don't you go clean yourself up?

[chairman-yao.livejournal.com]

A-Ha! I knew you could not be without a scarf for very long... structurally integral... load bearing... Your head will probably fall off if you do~

*gets to his feet, wobbling* Oh yes, I must get cleaned up for the dinner party... but first, an impression! *flicks the damp scarf around his own neck and waves his three-penis-wine around violently* I like stolen German plumbing and stalking Baltic states! Raarrrrgh!

Who am I? Go on... guess.

[red-underthebed.livejournal.com]

You are yourself, drunk out of your mind. *Ivan plucks the wine bottle from Yao's grasp and maneuvers him towards a conveniently located bathroom, being careful not to touch the dirty scarf* I think you are in no condition to be going to any party right now, so let's fix that.

[chairman-yao.livejournal.com]

*frowns* No... I was Russia. *whispers conspiratorially* The Soviet, you know. The crazy one.

*blinks owlishly at the bright white interior of the convenient bathroom, absently playing with his newly acquired scarf territory* Fix? How?

[red-underthebed.livejournal.com]

I see. Very clever of you.

Like this. *shoves Yao roughly into the bathtub, clothes, scarf, and all. Ivan proceeds to turn the cold water on at an ungodly pressure*

[chairman-yao.livejournal.com]

*smacks into the side of tub, hard, Despair rising*
OUCH, ARU!

*water! COLD! SHOCK! flails! freezing! horrible! Argglegarbbledrowning! Sobriety, incoming! twisting, turning, hating life!*

[red-underthebed.livejournal.com]

*amused, Ivan turns off the water and steps back*

Now, did you have somewhere to go?

[chairman-yao.livejournal.com]

*lying there completely soaked, stunned, frozen and gasping. When he can manage to form words they get caught in his throat, stripped of any recognizable structure and emerge as hoarse squeaks*

.......Y-Y- HAH!?

[red-underthebed.livejournal.com]

*Having had his fun, it dawns on Ivan that a soggy, cranky, and sober Yao is infinitely more dangerous than a drunk one. Ivan pauses to curse his lack of foresight and tendency to overlook gaping flaws in his otherwise masterful plans. Fortunately, however, there are some fluffy (Turkish? he wonders) towels situated on a nearby rack. The Russian attempts to allay the probable anger coming his way by dropping a particularly bibulous-looking one on Yao's head.*

There is a dinner party waiting for you. *watches Yao shiver unsympathetically* Your alcohol tolerance is abysmal. You shouldn't have drunk such a strong wine, especially not one with three penises in it.

[chairman-yao.livejournal.com]

*does not change position or move to get up, the situation is in fact very much the same as it was previously, with the addition of a very nice towel*

.......P-P- WUH!?

[red-underthebed.livejournal.com]

...are you cold? *tentatively offers you another towel*

[chairman-yao.livejournal.com]

*looks up mournfully from beneath the towel currently on his head, breaking his previously frozen state to shiver violently. Foggy, suddenly!sober thoughts slowly and carefully encourage him to reach for the towel. His motor skills, however, find this idea hilarious and the arm and the water-soaked sleeve flop down pathetically*

.....*one disjointed curse in Mandarin*

[red-underthebed.livejournal.com]

*Ivan concurs with Yao's motor skills.*

Don't look so sad. You brought it upon yourself. *Ivan takes his towel and distastefully begins drying Yao off, as one would a large, muddy dog. He is most certainly not snickering softly as he is doing so, so please keep your knees where they are, thanks.*

[chairman-yao.livejournal.com]

*Well this is humiliating. A particularly rough rub of the towel catches in his hair and he hisses quietly, trying to scowl. Stupid Ivan and his stupid girlish giggling - why is it infectious? I will not smile or laugh because this is not a funny situation! Successfully biting back any sign of amusement, Yao stiffly reaches up to free his hair from the tangled ribbon, letting the wet strands stick to the side of his face as he resigns himself to another fluffy towel attack*