[fic] Pillow Fortress -FACE Family

[useless-espers.livejournal.com]

Title: Pillow Fortress
Rating: G
Characters: FACE Family(no pairings), USA's friends
Summary: USA is in a bad mood so he made himself a pillow fortress.

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“So, he built himself a pillow fort again. Just wonderful,” U.K. grumbled as he read the text message on his cellphone. If he would have known earlier, he would have made this meeting another day but for some reason his cellphone didn’t tell him he had a new text until he got to the house. He rubbed his temple because this meant USA was in a bad mood and he would spend their entire meeting pouting in his little fort made of couch pillows and blankets. “Bloody technology,” U.K. sighed before knocking twice on USA’s door and entering the house.

He stopped at the dining room entrance and stared in disbelief. Before him was a towering multi-level pillow fortress that took up a good portion of the room. On the top level, he could see Tony and the whale watching something on a laptop. There was even a good-sized standing area in the very back. USA must be in a really bad mood to spend all that time and effort just to build a massive fort to mope around in.

U.K. peeked into the bottom level and saw USA napping. “Get up!” he yelled.

“[censored] is here! [censored]!” Tony glared.

“Rude little alien as always, I see.”

USA yawned and sat up. “Oh, you’re here already. Do you like this fortress I made? I decided instead of making just a fort, I should make a fortress this time. This is my best and biggest one yet!”

“Yes, it’s very lovely,” U.K. said deadpan. “Did you save any chairs and blankets for anyone else?”

“We left a recliner near the T.V. for you to use since we took all the couch pillows.”

U.K. rubbed is temple. “Get out of that, we have things to do!”

USA didn‘t budge. “I finished the papers myself. All you have to do is to look them over and then sign them.”

“No! Get out here and we’ll go over everything together. I didn’t come all this way just for you to play in your little fort.”

“Fortress,” USA corrected.

“Shut up,” he sighed. “Who or what are you mad about this time?”

USA crossed his arms and grumbled under his breath. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Fine!” U.K. threw his hands up in the air. “See if I care. Well, then you better get out here… or if you want I’ll go in there.”

“You can’t enter my fortress,” USA said plainly.

“Why the bloody hell not?”

“The rules.”

“What rules?”

“The rules are on the sign over there near the fortress’ entrance.” USA pointed to them.

“Idiot,” U.K. uttered as he walked over and read the sign he obviously didn’t see before.

USA’S ULTRA-COOL FORTRESS RULES

NO Non-NATO Members

NO Vampires

NO Poisoners Who Tried To Kill Me With Marmite

NO Knee-Attackers

NO Male Countries Without Pants

“I… I DID NOT TRY TO POISON YOU WITH MARMITE! YOU JUST ATE IT THE WRONG WAY!”

“Denmark agrees with me: That stuff is poison!”

“That’s because he’s an idiot too!”

Tony picked up a slingshot and launched a few crumpled up pieces of paper at U.K.’s
head.

“HEY! STOP THAT, YOU LITTLE…” U.K. shouted.

“Stay out, you [censored]! [censored]!”

U.K. threw one of the paper balls back at Tony but missed. He grunted. “So what do we do now?”

USA crawled to the back of his fort. “As I said, I finished all the papers for our meeting earlier. My fortress’ ambassador will give them to you to look over.”

U.K. lifted an eyebrow. “Ambassador?”

“It’s someone you know very well.”

The unicorn, that U.K. had given to USA, suddenly came into view as it trotted around the corner of the fortress wearing a saddle bag.

The sight of the unicorn immediately alleviated U.K.’s mood. “Oh, it’s you!” he exclaimed as he petted the top of his old unicorn friend’s head. He leaned closer to it and whispered. “Are you still happy you decided to stay with him?”

The unicorn nodded and neighed happily.

“Well, then I’m happy for your promotion since the last time I’ve been here,” U.K. smiled and nodded, “Ambassador of the Pillow Fort.”

“Fortress,” USA corrected.

“Shut up,” U.K. coughed. “I feel like a cup of tea,” he said, feeling a little parched, “before going over your papers. Where do you keep your tea kettle in the kitchen?” He looked over in that direction.

“Tea kettle?”

“Yes!” U.K. glared back at USA. “The nice one I bought you three Christmases ago! Remember?”

“Oh, yeah…” Realization dawned on him. “It might be in the pantry. I think I used it once, but I prefer just heating up a cup of water in the microwave.”

“How dare you!” U.K. pointed a finger at USA. “First you invent tea bags and now you decide to further ruin the art of tea making by heating the water in the microwave?”

“Just kidding!” USA smiled smugly. “I drink coffee, not tea.”

U.K. stormed out of the room and into the kitchen with the unicorn trotting behind him.

Later, U.K. sipped his tea while reading over the papers and a soft moan was heard from Tony’s laptop on the second floor of the pillow fortress. Tony must be watching another one of those “shows” Japan brought over for him, U.K. figured. Tony wasn’t allowed to watch those videos in front of USA anymore and, since USA was moping on the first level listening to his iPod, Tony couldn’t pass up this opportunity. The unicorn became increasingly agitated with each groan.

“I see you don’t like that stupid alien either.”

The unicorn glanced in Tony’s direction and grunted.

“I figured as much.” U.K. bent over and grabbed the remote from the coffee table. “I guess we can turn on that inferior “BBC America” channel to block out the noise.”

While U.K. browsed through the channel guide on the T.V., Canada showed up. “Oh, so you came even after I sent a text to warn you.”

“I received it…” U.K. pulled out his cell to indicate his point. “…hours after you sent it. I’ll never understand this stupid thing.” He shoved it back into his pocket. Mr. Kumajiro then came in with a wheeled cooler. U.K. eyed it suspiciously. “What’s this all about now?” he questioned.

“Oh, since bro is feeling down I decided to come over and hang out with him. I’m one of the few he won’t kick out of his fort, so I figure I’ll try and cheer him up. Otherwise, he might spend days in there.”

“Fortress,” U.K. corrected. “Do you know why he’s acting like this?”

“You know…stuff.” Canada shifted and glanced at the floor.

U.K. slammed his hand down on the coffee table. “No! I don’t know! That’s why I asked you!”

“I dunno…” Canada pointed to the cooler, trying to change the subject. “I brought “real” beer,” he said with a smile. “Want one?” Canada asked. “Mr. Kuwabara, give him one.”

“No, thank you,” U.K. said quickly. “I have my tea.”

“OK then,” Canada grabbed the cooler from Mr. Kumajiro and they both made their way into the fortress’ entrance. “Hey bro, I came to hang with you!”

USA couldn’t hear because of his iPod and Canada’s soft ‘shouting’ voice.

Canada sighed and tapped his brother on the shoulder. USA jerked his head and then took out his ear buds. “Oh, hey bro,” the music still blared through the buds, “whatcha doing here?”

“I came here to hang with you,” Canada repeated.

“Why?”

“Why? Why would I need a reason to come over and hang out with my brother? Besides, I’m just here to cheer you up!”

“There’s a hockey game on tonight, isn’t there?”

“Well, if you insist!” Canada cheerfully said as he forced his brother into a bro hug.

“Nooo,” USA whined as he tried to wiggle out of his grip. “I want to feel sorry for myself in silence.”

“Awww… That’s no fun!” Canada said playfully, “What’s the matter? Don’t you want to watch some hockey with your bro?”

“Noooooo…”

“Come on, don’t be like that! What’s more fun than watching a hockey match in a pillow fortress? I promise we’ll watch whatever you want to afterwards!”

“Fine! Just let me go!” USA would normally wrestle his way out, however, he was so down, he’s just didn’t feel like it.

“I’ll stop hugging you… after the game. You’re going to try to leave as soon as I let go. Mr. Kubo, please hand me a beer! ”

“Nooooooooooo…”

Even while wearing headphones, Tony would never let the word “beer” slip past him. He immediately paused his “show”, jumped down from his level, and went inside before he greedily dug through the cooler for a beer. Some security the fortress had, U.K. thought.

“Hmph!” U.K. went back to his papers. He remembered, and shuddered, about the last time he watched hockey with Canada. Though to be fair not many people liked watching football with him either… especially after he had a few.

At the fortress, Mr. Kumajiro set up Canada’s laptop so they could watch the game while Tony helped himself to another can of beer. U.K. was happy that he didn’t have to be a part of all that. He looked towards the unicorn and asked smugly, “Don’t you think they should learn to watch a real sport like soc… I mean, football for once?”

The unicorn gave him an amused, knowing look.

“I did NOT teach them that word! They lie about that!” As U.K. bent down to the coffee table, to grab the tea pot resting on a tea towel, he suddenly got a strange feeling. He peeked over his shoulder to find the whale was a hair’s-length from his face. He jumped but luckily didn’t knock over the tea set. “I… I didn’t know you were a stealth whale! I guess you don’t like to watch hockey either.” The whale smiled and watched the BBC channel.

A short time later, the fortress was in hockey mode: Tony was drunk off his ass and Canada grew louder, and more intoxicated himself, as the game went on.
“Would you let me go now? You’re shouting in my ear!”

Canada ignored him. “See these socks I’m wearing? These are my special hockey socks, so I know my team is going to kick your team’s ass!”

“Do you see my socks I’m wearing?” USA asked back.

“Yeah?”

“These are just regular socks. I don’t have special hockey socks.”

“Brother…” Canada tightened his grip. “Just let me believe. That’s all that I ask. Just let me believe…”

“You… you’re hugging a little too tight there, bro.”

“Shhhhh… Quiet,” Canada patted his head. “It’s OK. My team is kicking your team’s ass and you’re upset about that.”

“FFFFFFFFFine. Whatever you say.”

U.K. raised the volume on his T.V. so he didn’t have to hear any more of that creepy conversation. He had about a two dozen more papers to read through before he could go home, but he couldn’t concentrate with all the noise going on.

The unicorn nudged him on the shoulder. It had USA’s iPod wrapped around its horn.

“That’s a clever idea!” U.K. patted the unicorn on the head and took the iPod. He turned toward the whale. “Do you want to watch this program still?”

The whale made clicking noises.

U.K. assumed that was a “yes” and placed the remote on the back of the couch for him. He then put on the headphones and turned on the iPod. “Now to see if he has any music on here that isn’t complete rubbish.” He went down the entire list before he decided on “classical jazz” and continued with the papers.

Hours passed and U.K. woke to the unicorn licking his face. “Stop it,” he yawned. He must have dozed off slightly after the game ended, when the brothers started watching Disney movies. U.K. stretched and noticed a blanket on him. The unicorn must have gotten it for him. U.K. rubbed his eyes and asked “What do you want?” as polite as he could in his groggy state.

The unicorn motioned for him to follow it.

“Mmm, wake me up in the morning,” he moaned as he straightened out his blanket and tried to go back to sleep.

The unicorn huffed. It bit the end of the blanket and pulled it off of him. Given no other option, U.K. slowly stood up. “What are you waking me up for? You want to show me something?”

The unicorn quietly neighed and made its way closer to the fortress.

U.K. grabbed USA’s iPod from the coffee table and stumbled behind in the dark. Once his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he noticed Tony was back on the upper level watching his “shows” again with his headphones on. The unicorn quietly led U.K. to the back of fortress and entered.

“Oh, so this is your part of the fortress,” he whispered as he entered behind it. “He made it tall and roomy for you. That was nice of him considering he can’t see you.”

The unicorn bent its head down and used its horn to point under the table.

“Do you want me to put the iPod back?” U.K. questioned as he got on his knees and looked under the table. He could see couch pillows used to make different rooms for the fortress, but it was too dark to see anything else. “What are you trying to show me?”

The unicorn’s horn sparkled and suddenly the mouse on Canada’s laptop moved causing the screen to light up.

U.K. crawled his way to the front and realized what the unicorn wanted him to see. In front of the laptop, USA slept on his side and cuddled Kumajiro like a teddy bear. Canada gripped his brother like a pillow, his face flushed from all the beer. The brothers were adorably curled up together sleeping just like they did when they were kids.

As he kneeled in front of them, U.K. smiled as memories of the old days, when he was their big brother, flooded back. They were so cute when they were little. He wished he could go back to those days but knew they were long gone. U.K. peeked over his shoulder to make sure the unicorn wasn’t watching and slowly took his cellphone out of his pocket…

Days later, U.K. sat outside in his garden trying to fix the options on his cell, “Stupid thing! Why won’t you alert me when I have messages?”

“Having trouble with that, Britain?” France asked as he entered the yard.

“Why are you here?”

“I tried calling, but you wouldn’t answer your phone! Are you that technologically challenged?”

“Here then,” U.K. waved his cell, “you fix it!”

“Fine, I’ll try to fix your phone,” France replied as he walked over and grabbed it from him. He fiddled with it for a few seconds. “I think I already know what you did wrong. You just turned the volume down all the way.” He pressed a few more buttons and then the phone started to beep. “There, it works now!”

“Thank you,” U.K. said exhaustedly. “Now give it back!”

“Oh ho… What’s this? Hon hon hon…”

“Hey! Wait a minute…” U.K. jumped out of his seat.

France grinned at him, “What a darling picture of our little brothers sleeping in their little fort! Just like they did when they were babies! Oh Britain… after all that screaming at me you did on April Fools Day! You’re not so above it all, I see!”

“It was the unicorn’s idea! Not mine!” U.K. turned red as he grabbed for the phone, but France kept it out of his reach. “I was going to delete that!”

"Unicorn?" France pushed him away, ran, and hopped over the fence. “Not yet! Not until I send it to my phone! How dare you keep this picture away from me? I’m their big brother too! Don’t worry… I won’t show them to anyone else.”

“GIVE IT BACK, FROG!”

France laughed as he ran off as U.K. struggled to get over the fence.