hetalia | Moar questions about the nations' sexuality

All your questions? Not relevant.

The nations are completely smooth down there. Smooth as a Ken (or Barbie) doll.

They don't even have nipples because they're hatched from eggs found in the wild.

Stop thinking about cartoon penes and vaginae.

Honestly, I don't know, but someone was going to say it.

They just don't seem like they'd be sexual creatures with each other, much less humans.

Even with the strips about Greece and Japan, Germany being a big dork about dating, and France's general naughty spirit, I don't see them engaging in carnal activities.

Yes, we've got that "Sweden's gay for Finland and only Finland" archived comment, but that's not something that's been repeatedly brought up or acknowledged in an overt way by both characters, indicating some rolling around in the sheets stuff.

... This.

But someone has to lay those eggs, right? xD

It surprises me that you say, in your other comment, that you don't believe they are sexual. ISN'T THIS SERIES SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT GAY COUNTRIES? WHAT HAVE I BEEN READING ALL THIS TIME???? WAS I MISLED BY ALL THE NAKKEDNESS AND THE COLD WAR CONDOMS AND THE FRANCE-NESS AND THE CHIBIKISS???

SomeTHING *shifty eyes*

How do we know that Nations come from Nations and not some freakish creature like a Spirit Platypus, which roams the world, laying Nation eggs in secluded areas before wandering away in a never ending search for the perfect chocolate biscuit/cookie.

Who's the "Daddy" platypus, you might say? Spirit stuff going on, okay. Assume it already held the potential for all the nations that have been, are, and will be when it blinked into existence.

Stop trying to apply human constructs to things that are not human. Species-ist.

I believe I am in great lack of an appropriate icon to properly express how I feel about this statement.

...

MIND. BLOWNNNNNNNNNNNnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

Stop trying to apply human constructs to things that are not human.

Yeah! I mean next thing you know, some Japanese dude will make a webcomic series and anime which treats nations as if they were people!

I can see where you're coming from, but all the gayness, condoms, nakedness and such is really all just for gags.

The slash is fun to think about, but I myself can't really see them being seriously sexual creatures.

When I imagine any character from the series being serious it just doesn't feel right.

From that POV, whenever I try to imagine any character being historical at all, I also can't really do it. Or whenever I try to imagine them interacting with humans; it just doesn't come to mind. AT ALL. Neither eating or sleeping, oddly enough. I just imagine them behind a curtain waiting to enter the stage, deliver their punch line, and get out so that a new strip can begin.
However, fics wonderfully colour my appreciation of the series ^^
(thankfully, since in my opinion the good ones are far better than the canon LOL)
And fics tend to humanize the nations much more than the canon ever attempts to, and they are the ones that usually make me think and wonder about things like this, lol

Don't forget that strip with Italy comparing his and Germany's and dicovering he has Phimosis, and the one where Italy tells Japan is "miniature even down there", Korea singing the elephant song to his dong and his wanting to xxxx China XD, Greece having done it a lot. And the condom related jokes, and France as mentioned above.

This.

They obviously must be sexual beings to some degree.

Look at FRANCE.

And, masturbation marathon!

Pfft! What is this evidence you point out? They're smooth down there and France has an unfortunate growth that looks like a flower.

You shouldn't be so crass as to mention it, though. :(

Poor, deformed, crazed France. Even England, shocked that France would display his condition so, knows better than to ridicule him for an unfortunate accident of creation. Especially when there are so many other things to poke fun at.

And Korea... well, he's "special" too. Bless his little heart.

I'm referring to these strips:

webcomic strips with jokes on who's the horniest (http://aph.starry-sky.com/nkmng.html)
Italy and his Phimosis (http://aph.starry-sky.com/rkgk19.html)

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I'm referring to these strips:

<a href="http://aph.starry-sky.com/nkmng.html"> webcomic strips with jokes on who's the horniest</a>
<a href="http://aph.starry-sky.com/rkgk19.html"> Italy and his Phimosis </a>
<a href="http://aph.starry-sky.com/files/ymot.gif which comes from this strip: <a href="http://aph.starry-sky.com/grc2.html">aph.starry-sky.com/grc2.html</a>
<a href="http://aph.starry-sky.com/files/erog.gif"> China and Korea </a>
<a href="http://aph.starry-sky.com/nikkimanga4.html"> scroll down to the very bottom </a> for an explanation of why Korea was singing to his thing.

If you don't know what phimosis is:
<a href="http://www.medterms.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=4872"> Phimosis</a> i'm not linking to wiki since it has pictures of what the condition looks like. It's not really for minors.

I just can't imagine the Nations being asexual psychologically or anatomically. They may not reproduce sexually, but the genitourinary system (genitals in more common terms) is called so in medical terms because they have functions other besides being sexual organs. How will they pee otherwise? Especially the males, since their genitals serve as excretory and reproductive organs. This is what bothers me most about the smooth down there thing.

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jorael.livejournal.com - 2010-03-16 17:13 (UTC) - Expand

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alors-indikaze.livejournal.com - 2010-03-16 19:00 (UTC) - Expand

"France has an unfortunate growth that looks like a flower"

ROFL XDD poor france, but I had to laugh, the flower growth is even red (...wait, ouch >_<)

IT'S OBVIOUS THEY DO HAVE NIPPLES ^^

also, just trying to imagine female boobs -specially Ukraine's- WITHOUT nipples will give me nightmares tonight

It's times like this that I wish I had a WTF icon...

*raises eyebrow* Then why are they distinctly male or female? Wouldn't they be completely asexual like Gabriel from Constantine?

EVERYONE IS BI.

Makes shipping easier.

BRILLIANT.

In all seriousness, I don't hold them to any sexuality. I pretty much make them all bisexual because they're "nations" and not "humans".

And really it's a wonderful excuse for me to write yaoi fanfiction about them to my hearts content. :D

you totally read my mind XD

That's awesome and fantastic but DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH MY THREAD AT ALL
I didn't ask if they went for third leg or pussy, that's private stuffXD

I was going to answer your questions, but couldn't come up with anything humourous.

However if it will make you happy;

England's first kiss was France and vice versa. One of those sweet childhood moments. England's first time was Portugal.

Germany is a virgin.

Belarus is saving hers for Russia.

Sweden, Norway and ~~Denmark~~ do not remember because they put on pointy hats drunk lots of booze and woke up some centuries later with no pants on and a killer hangover.

Anicent Rome was born without his virginity.

-What names do you think they use/call in bed, human or nation?
I like to think England's main pick up line is "Lie back and think of England." I think it depends from personality to personality, like screaming "OH FRANCE!" in the throws of passion might take his pride down a bit, but screaming "OH FRANCIS!" Not so bad.
I think Canada would blurt out the full country name like "OH People's Republic of China!" or "OH! United States of America" or "United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland" and then he's all "OH I'M SORRY FOR BLURTING OUT YOUR FULL NAME!"

that's all I got ;A;

THANK YOU!! I completely agree with you. Problem solved. Moving on...

THIS.

I approve of this in a way that should be totally illegal! (that also makes international 'affairs' (ahem) simpler ja!?) ~

Although they have an human appearance, they are not human and don't think like humans do. For them, the concept of homosexuality/Heterosexuality is non-existent ( Given their great gender unbalance)

My head canon is that they can have sex together (between nation), but they don't feel it the way humans would, it's totally another kind of experience for them. ( I can give you an exemple of what I think but that would be so cheesy!!!)

They can have sex with their citizen ( In canon: France got some of his female citizens pregnant) and if it feels like a normal sexual act for the citizen, I doubt that the nation would feel things the same way.

I think that they can't have any kind of relation with citizens from another nation.

( In canon: France got some of his female citizens pregnant)

Huh? Is this in a strip I missed or something?

I think it's in the christmas special or maybe the april fool one: France receive a letter from a girl who pretend to be pregnant of him. His reaction: "That's wonderful! But who are you? Marianne? Jennifer...Or? )

Ohhhh yeah, I remember now.

Although they have an human appearance, they are not human and don't think like humans do. For them, the concept of homosexuality/Heterosexuality is non-existent ( Given their great gender unbalance)

My head canon is that they can have sex together (between nation), but they don't feel it the way humans would, it's totally another kind of experience for them. ( I can give you an exemple of what I think but that would be so cheesy!!!)

This is pretty much how I feel. *thumbs up*
Though I am curious, what's your example of their sex experience? As cheesy as it may be. xD

I will tell you but I warn you, It's SUPER cheesy, because I am an helpless romantic and a metaphor-lover.

Well, I see things that way, taking Germany and Italy as an example ( cause I love them)
If Germany would do 'it' with Italy, while doing it, his conscious mind would find itself wandering the street of Venice or Firenze or any other north Italian city. But not as any kind Tourist, I mean he would be a privileged guest and see what other tourist don't see and find a pleasure more than the physical pleasure in the discovery.
See what I mean?

=o_o= That... is beautiful. Seriously, wow. I'm in awe. This will become my headcanon, as well. Thanks for the lovely imagery. ♥

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sara-rojo.livejournal.com - 2010-03-17 00:47 (UTC) - Expand

Although they have an human appearance, they are not human and don't think like humans do. For them, the concept of homosexuality/Heterosexuality is non-existent ( Given their great gender unbalance)

I'm curious, because you're the third person to talk about this after reading my original post...what part of it seems to wonder about a nation's sexual preference?

and if it feels like a normal sexual act for the citizen

Who says it does?

Given their great gender unbalance

I have my own theories about this. There are about 200 nations on Earth, and we've only really seen a small sampling of them. My headcannon states that exactly 50% of the nations on earth are female because 50% of the population is female. Also, it's been hinted that ancient nations were largely female, so maybe its a generational thing?

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qualapec.livejournal.com - 2010-03-16 22:56 (UTC) - Expand

-What names do you think they use/call in bed, human or nation?

Human names. I think they'd be used as a way to show familiarity and closeness. It's like...everyone knows their country name (and maybe even their human name) but only certain nations are friendly enough to use it.

-What do their citizens feel when they have sex? (lol)

Uh...no idea. XD Maybe they start liking the other nation as well?

-What if they have sex with their citizens? How does that feel for the human in question?

My imagination is failing me today... So I think I'd have to say they would recognize it as being different, but likely not able to articulate it. (cop-out lol) Afterwards they'd feel really patriotic! (but only if the sex was good. -_-)

-Bonus question: do you think they are sexually desirable and attractive to all their citizens, regardless of looks/personality preferance or even sexual tendency?

I don't think they'd necessarily be sexually attractive to their citizens, but definitely appealing in some way.

-Bonus question #2: If they have sex with a human from another nation...how do you think it feels to the human's nation?

I think it'd depend a great deal on how the human felt about their nation. If they like their nation, it might be viewed as 'fostering good relations' or something, but if not, it'd probably be more of a slap in the face.

~~America/Lafayette totally happened~~

Gonna be rather boring here.

Sex callouts are probably the nation name. I don't see countries using human names with each other; human names are just that: for humans, so they don't get confused.

I imagine most of the nations did not start with having sex with each other, but with normal humans first. Or at least Rome did, because he is Rome. Possibly also with other abstract concept-tans which have only been mildly alluded to in Hetalia.

Citizens don't notice when their nations are having sex, unless that sex is somehow a metaphor for something in which case they may recognize the world event it is referring to. (this comes from the fact that humans don't seem to have magical awareness of nations)

I'd imagine a nation-tan can have sex with any human, and it would pretty much be like having sex with another human. The human may know that the country is a country, but then again they might not. Whether or not they do will alter desires a bit, but countries aren't really "special" to humans.

A nation can do it with either a citizen or a citizen of another nation. (Example: Italy)

The key word is "anthropomorphic."

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Nice~ XDDD

I dunno, I always think of nations as... nationsexual. Or something. They can still love humans, but it's more emotional than physical. Vice versa for humans towards their nations. After all, in our world, there's many people who love their country! But no one would actually... masturbate to nationalism or anything. ~~I hope.~~

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I definitely see how that could work! \o/ In my headcanon though, both of those didn't have any physically sexual aspects to them? There are definitely very deep feelings of love and/or attachment but I've never really thought of nations as having any desires to have sex with humans, and vice versa.

... Though, I suppose there could be a few exceptions. I suppose there will always be exceptions for anything in the courses of history. ;;;

-What names do you think they use/call in bed, human or nation?

I think it depends on how personal their relationship is ~~and if they're in a public place or not.~~ My headcanon is that they only call people who they're really close with by their human names.

-What do their citizens feel when they have sex?

Nothing, I would hope. xD Maybe if there are citizens near them, they might start to get inexplicably horny, but that's it. xD

What do their citizens feel when they make out/have sex in public?

If they see them, I can see some jealous rage going on.

-What if they have sex with their citizens? How does that feel for the human in question?

Like the most amazing sex ever. o: Because everything the country is feeling, the human can feel and vice versa.

Do you think they are sexually desirable and attractive to all their citizens?

No, I think it's more of a platonic attraction, unless the nation wants you to be sexually attracted to them.

If they have sex with a human from another nation...how do you think it feels to the human's nation?

I don't think the other nation would even know. I imagine that the nations can sense everything that belongs to them as a nation, their land and people ect. But not other nations (other than the sense that they are a nation). With other nations and people of other nations, there's just a blank spot. :3

People are probably making comments in regards to sexual preference because of the title of the post. "Sexuality" usually is used in relation to orientation. Not always, mind you, but that probably threw people off. ~~I still think some of the nations can have a sexuality aside from bisexual. Sweden is canonically stated to be gay, and I strongly believe Austria to be straight.~~

Actually answering your questions, however, I don't think sex between a human and a nation really feels any different than sex between two humans or two nations would. Their bodies are pretty much human, so unless it was, like, sex with America and he got a bit too into it and broke the bed, it'd be normal.

I think they use each other's human names if they're in a close relationship and aren't just sleeping around for the hell of it. My headcanon states that the only person who has permission to call Austria "Roderich" is Hungary.

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I think it depends on the nations in question, honestly. Like, for Hungary to use Austria's human name is a term of endearment, but for Prussia to do the same would infuriate him. Also I think Prussia hates being called "Gilbert" or any variation of it regardless of circumstance. Basically it's a cute pet name if the nations are in a relationship and gave permission, and a friendly thing if the nation gave permission for a different reason, but without permission it's an insult. Kind of like when someone on the internet that you're arguing with calls you "honey" or something similar as a way of talking down to you.

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I am a shipper and that becomes very obvious any and every time a headcanon discussion of this nature comes up orz. Glad you agree with it, though!

1)Who do you think were each nation's first kiss and first time?
and when did it happen?
Hmm first kiss was with the 1st nation the other met that made them both economically and socially happy? First time would be something major (i remember one post where someone said America would have sex with France after the revolution since France was the first to recognize his indepence) and for Taiwan, her first time was with Japan because China would not do it with her since he sees her as a younger sister but Japan just occupy her

-What names do you think they use/call in bed, human or nation?
Either one, but human name (if they had one) would be more romantic/more realistic if you think hard about it, especially if they've known each other for a while

-What do their citizens feel when they have sex? (lol)
Uhh, sexual pleasure? XDD idk a deeper feeling for the thoughts of the whole nation at that time?

Bonus question: what do their citizens feel when they make out/have sex in public? (I meant the citizens in their general vicinity)
It would be like seeing any other person (omg wtf get a room) until people start to recognize their country then..idk really

-What if they have sex with their citizens? How does that feel for the human in question?
I think I answered before right?

Bonus question: do you think they are sexually desirable and attractive to all their citizens, regardless of looks/personality preferance or even sexual tendency?
If that person is super-duper patriotic ^_^ but yes to any degree.Unless! (just thought of myself in this situation) the country is in turmoil and distress then no

Bonus question #2: If they have sex with a human from another nation...how do you think it feels to the human's nation?
A cultural experience! wait I read the question wrong; Uhh lets say a japanese had sex w/ Greece, then Japan would feel...hm more culture expanding? idk i wouldn't really expect this to happen...

do you think it's even possible/has happened before, having sex with a foreign human?
Yeah it could happen

oh wait I totally got that question wrong; "What do their citizens feel when they have sex? (lol)" as in what do the people of France feel when Francis does it?
Oh god nothing please that's like an orgasm 24/7 XD

Moar questions about the nations' sexuality

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warning i make stuff up while thinking of answers so I'm forming more head canon in the process

Re: warning i make stuff up while thinking of answers so I'm forming more head canon in the process