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hetalia2013-09-25 01:11 am
hikari-kaitou.livejournal.com) wrote in hetalia2013-09-25 01:11 am
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[Translation] The Not-So-Efficient Newspaper Club Drama CD, tracks 4-7 (end)
Phew, done at last! Why does everyone in this CD have to talk so quickly? ;^;
Track 4- The Truth Behind the Rumors
Japan: Next up is England-san. It says, “I heard that England-san’s hobby is embroidery. I thought that if a person like him were to do such delicate work, he might pull a Wuthering Heights from stress Please find out whether it’s true.”
Germany: What do they mean by “pull a Wuthering Heights from stress”?
J: England-san is quite sensitive, you know. I’ve heard that he cuddles his teddy bear while reading Wordsworth in bed.
I: Are you sure? I bet he goes to bed wearing spiked bracelets and a spiked collar, listening to hard rock while holding a large collection of supernatural items in one hand and head-banging with some hell raisers.
G: He’d end up stabbing himself if he tried that.
I: He sure would.
J: Ah, Germany-san! It seems that the student council meeting has adjourned!
G: There he is. Oi, England! Can we have a moment?!
England: Ugh, Germany!
G: There’s something we wanted to ask you.
E: Wh-what is it? If this is about the EU, I’m gonna make my escape with this parachute!
G: You don’t have be so evasive! It’s nothing to do with that. We just wanted to ask you something.
E: Heh, just wanna ask me something, do you? You’re probably hiding something!
I: It’s not like that! Don’t worry! It’s just for the newspaper club!
J: Our intention is to collect answers for a series of questions sent in by readers.
E: Nngh… Well, I suppose that’s alright. I’m not answering any strange questions, though.
G: I see. That’s a big help. In that case, we can interview you right here in the hallway. It seems that there’s a rumor about you enjoying embroidery and we were asked to find out whether it was true.
E: What, is that it?
G: Sorry to have to bother you with this question, or rather rumor confirmation. If it’s not true, you can just say it’s not true and we’ll be on our way. The reader wondered if that kind of activity might cause you to “pull a Wuthering Heights from stress.”
E: What the hell does that mean? But I guess I do feel kind of Wuthering Height-ish when the threads get all tangled.
G: Huh? S-so it’s true?
E: Mm? You’re talking about embroidery, right? Sure I do.
I: Eeeeeeh?! You do?!
E: What, didn’t you hear me? I just said I do.
J: In other words, the rumor is true?
E: What do you mean, “rumor”? My embroidery is a work of art. I wouldn’t even mind if you did a front page article featuring my needlework. If you insist, I could describe the process to you from the first to the 215th step. But good lord, to think that my embroider has become so well-known as to have rumors circulating about it…
I: Awawawa… so he’s not a hell-raiser… England really does do embroidery.
G: I guess this is what they mean when they say that the truth can be stranger than fiction.
E: Hold it, you lot! Just what kind of bloke do you think I am, anyway?!
I: Ve… I was sure you wore spiked bracelets and a spiked collar, listening to hard rock while holding a large collection of supernatural items in one hand and head-banging with some hell raisers, occasionally shouting out “ya-ha” in strange voices…
E: Who does that?! That sounds like the type of bloke you’d want to stay far away from, or rather, the type you should stay far away from if you don’t want to get stabbed. So the rumor is true. Are you satisfied?
G: I see… I never would’ve guessed…
I: Abababababa…
J: That’s awfully rude, you two. There’s nothing wrong with the fact that England-san does embroidery, or writes poems that he never shows anyone, or sleeps with a teddy bear. And recently he had a premonition that a bridge was going to collapse, so he saved his colleagues from the bus. But those colleagues began to meet mysterious deaths in the order in which they had been seated on the bus. And on top of that, one of the colleagues that he saved frequently tried to take him out.
E: Hold on! Where did you hear all that?! The second half of that story seems to have been thrown in from another source.
I: Waaah, I wanna read the poems England wrote! I love poetry!
E: Don’t latch on to that detail!
G: I guess you’ve got an unexpectedly sensitive and romantic streak.
E: Shut up. So I do embroidery. That’s my final answer.
J: Thank you for your answer, England-san. I think we’ll be able to write a good article.
E: Right, right. Finally you’re getting it. Now then, I’ll proceed to harass you by sending you emails of my 3 gigabytes worth of photos of my embroidery works in a series of 12 megabyte attachments, so make sure you’ve got some disk space open, newspaper club. *Smirk smirk*
G: Sorry, but our clubroom’s computer has a maximum capacity of only 100 megabytes.
E: Just how many decades old is the bloody thing?!
I: Our computer’s brand new! And our TV’s one of the CRT ones with the strange wire things on top!
E: Are you taking the mickey?! You call that new!?
J: Don’t worry, I bring a new computer with me to do my work on.
Track 5- Tighten Your Body and…!
J: On to the next question. “I have a request for you, newspaper club. Russia-san is bulky, so I was wondering if it feels hard or soft if you punch him in the stomach. Please look into it.” Russia-san seems to be the subject of this question.
G: More like the victim of it.
I: Would you mind if I run away?
J: I think it’ll be hard.
I: Then I’ll put 90 cents on it being soft.
*scene change sound effect*
G: So that’s the question we were sent. Would it be possible for me to take just one shot?
Russia: Sometimes I can’t believe how bold you are.
I: Babababa… Germany…babababa…
R: Hmm… I suppose I wouldn’t mind too much, but can I ask you just one thing?
G: Go ahead.
R: You won’t punch a hole in my stomach, will you?
G: Oh, don’t worry about that. It only needs to be hard enough for me to get a feel.
J: That only happens in manga and movies.
R: Your arm won’t get buried inside me?
I: Waaah, that sounds scary!! It doesn’t look like you’d be able to pull it out again!
R: You won’t get scared even if my stomach splits and a smaller version of me comes out?
I: AAAAAAARGH! I’M GOING HOOOOME!!
G: You can’t actually believe he can turn into one of his folk crafts? Now then Russia, I’m sorry for having to ask you this, but do you mind?
R: Sure, whenever you’re ready.
*DOITSU PUNCH!*
Do you get it now?
G: I get it. Thank you.
I: *shouting in the distance* Did he split open?! He didn’t, did he?!
R: Eh heh heh! I sure did!
I: EEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!
G: My findings conclude that underneath his sweater there’s some fairly solid muscle, but I felt my fist sink into it.
J: In other words, we still have no idea.
R: Write a good article, ok?! By the way, if a newspaper at my place criticizes my boss, there’ll be a terrible BANG!
I: EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!
Track 8- Black and White…?
J: We’ve now arrived at the final question. The questions we received reads, “Who is China-san’s favorite character in The Annals of the Three Kingdoms?”
China: That’s obvious! Guan Yu! Guan Yu! Guan Yu! It’s Guan Yu!!
J: Why did you say it all cool the last time?
C: I’ve got the movie! Red Cliff isn’t the only movie version of The Three Kingdoms. There’s this one, and that one there, that’s an interesting one. And here’s a little-known gem! I’ll wrap them all up and give you a good price on them, so go ahead and choose 100 of them!
G: Don’t go selling that junk on school grounds!
C: I’ll give you my lowest price and throw in some video CDs—hey! Quit shutting down my business!
G: We’re all clear on the question about The Three Kingdoms. We just have one more request: “Investigate the panda that China always carries around on his back.”
C: Ah, this little guy. I never seem to notice him until he’s already back there. I’m not sure why, but all of them want to climb into my pack, so it’s not always the same one. That’s why they appear to vary in size.
I: Wow, so cute!
C: Sometimes I get freaked out because a fluorescent pink one will crawl in there. I really wish they wouldn’t.
J: Fluorescent pink, you say?!
C: That’s right! They’re all pink when they’re first born, but that’s because they’re bald.
J: You mean that color occurs naturally?!
C: Actually the pink ones are better. Sometimes pandas that are like Predators get in there. Even though it’s invisible, it has the same weight and feel as a regular panda. I laughed so hard the first time I saw one, though you can’t really see them.
J: It’s camouflaged?!
G: And all you did when faced with that was laugh?
C: If you’re going to be surprised by something small like that, you won’t be able to survive at my place. Watermelons, money, perverts and stuff like that explode, there are girls who show up naked in temple ruins insisting that they’re cosplaying and old ladies who rock climb on the Great Wall. Lately I’ve had to worry about the pandas and ryofu stalking me.
J: This is amazing. That statement was full of nothing but places to butt in with witty retorts.
I: Hey everyone, look at this! There’s a triangle-eared, long-tailed panda over here!
G: That’s a cat. I see. Thanks, China.
Man: China!!! This is terrible!!
C: What happened?
Man: Oh, it’s awful! The ryofu have taken over your house!
C: The ryofu again?! Why’re they so set on stealing my house?! Sorry, but I’ve gotta run!
J: Ah, thank you very much… Huh, I had no idea that the ryofu were still around.
G: And that they would target someone’s house while they were out… China’s an incredible place.
I: This panda’s so cute.
G: It’s a cat.
*Meow*
Narrator: By the way, the ryofu is a large group of stray cats living around China’s house.
Track 7- Epilogue
G: Hmm, we should be able to write a very interesting article with all this strange information.
J: No matter what era it is, there are some mysteries that are better left unsolved, such as the one about the crystal skulls, or the Quimbaya golden jets, or the Cabrera Stones.
G: Out-of-place-artifacts, huh? Those’ve gotten pretty popular.
J: They certainly have. Probably because they Cabrera Stones were found to have been made by a modern-day person, the playful craftsman who made them drew things like cars and the like on them.
G: What a hopeless person.
I: Eh? So they predicted the invention of cars! Ancient people were amazing!
G: Ha ha. The world must be a fun place for a pure and innocent guy like you.
I: Eh? Ehhhhh?! You don’t think it’s fun, Germany?! But there are so many pretty girls on this earth! The fact that there are delicious things that I still haven’t tasted and pretty girls that I haven’t met yet makes me happy!
J: That certainly does sound fun.
G: Yeah, I’m jealous.
I: Ve, ve, ve, hmmhmmhmmmm~
G: Alright then, let’s compile all the data we collected into an article and submit it!
I: Yeah! I’m gonna work hard!
J: Yes, let’s do our best to produce a piece that’s fun and easy to read.
Narrator: Thus the newspaper club was able to finish collecting the data for their story. It seems that the W Academy will be able to successfully publish another issue of their paper again this month.
*Scene change sound effect*
France: Ehhhh?! There’s no opening in this month’s edition of the paper either?!
Canada: Yeah… It seems like that column was still empty just a little bit ago… But I guess it got filled.
F: Ehhhh?! When’re they gonna print my love poems?! Big Brother’s been writing and saving them up for months! They’re such wonderful masterpieces that reading just one sentence will make the reader want to marry me!
C: Wow… that sounds amazing!
F: I guess I have no other choice; Big Brother will just have to read them right here, right now! *In his “sexy voice”* Are you ready?
Narrator: And so France spent the next 134 minutes reading out his love poems. The end!
Track 4- The Truth Behind the Rumors
Japan: Next up is England-san. It says, “I heard that England-san’s hobby is embroidery. I thought that if a person like him were to do such delicate work, he might pull a Wuthering Heights from stress Please find out whether it’s true.”
Germany: What do they mean by “pull a Wuthering Heights from stress”?
J: England-san is quite sensitive, you know. I’ve heard that he cuddles his teddy bear while reading Wordsworth in bed.
I: Are you sure? I bet he goes to bed wearing spiked bracelets and a spiked collar, listening to hard rock while holding a large collection of supernatural items in one hand and head-banging with some hell raisers.
G: He’d end up stabbing himself if he tried that.
I: He sure would.
J: Ah, Germany-san! It seems that the student council meeting has adjourned!
G: There he is. Oi, England! Can we have a moment?!
England: Ugh, Germany!
G: There’s something we wanted to ask you.
E: Wh-what is it? If this is about the EU, I’m gonna make my escape with this parachute!
G: You don’t have be so evasive! It’s nothing to do with that. We just wanted to ask you something.
E: Heh, just wanna ask me something, do you? You’re probably hiding something!
I: It’s not like that! Don’t worry! It’s just for the newspaper club!
J: Our intention is to collect answers for a series of questions sent in by readers.
E: Nngh… Well, I suppose that’s alright. I’m not answering any strange questions, though.
G: I see. That’s a big help. In that case, we can interview you right here in the hallway. It seems that there’s a rumor about you enjoying embroidery and we were asked to find out whether it was true.
E: What, is that it?
G: Sorry to have to bother you with this question, or rather rumor confirmation. If it’s not true, you can just say it’s not true and we’ll be on our way. The reader wondered if that kind of activity might cause you to “pull a Wuthering Heights from stress.”
E: What the hell does that mean? But I guess I do feel kind of Wuthering Height-ish when the threads get all tangled.
G: Huh? S-so it’s true?
E: Mm? You’re talking about embroidery, right? Sure I do.
I: Eeeeeeh?! You do?!
E: What, didn’t you hear me? I just said I do.
J: In other words, the rumor is true?
E: What do you mean, “rumor”? My embroidery is a work of art. I wouldn’t even mind if you did a front page article featuring my needlework. If you insist, I could describe the process to you from the first to the 215th step. But good lord, to think that my embroider has become so well-known as to have rumors circulating about it…
I: Awawawa… so he’s not a hell-raiser… England really does do embroidery.
G: I guess this is what they mean when they say that the truth can be stranger than fiction.
E: Hold it, you lot! Just what kind of bloke do you think I am, anyway?!
I: Ve… I was sure you wore spiked bracelets and a spiked collar, listening to hard rock while holding a large collection of supernatural items in one hand and head-banging with some hell raisers, occasionally shouting out “ya-ha” in strange voices…
E: Who does that?! That sounds like the type of bloke you’d want to stay far away from, or rather, the type you should stay far away from if you don’t want to get stabbed. So the rumor is true. Are you satisfied?
G: I see… I never would’ve guessed…
I: Abababababa…
J: That’s awfully rude, you two. There’s nothing wrong with the fact that England-san does embroidery, or writes poems that he never shows anyone, or sleeps with a teddy bear. And recently he had a premonition that a bridge was going to collapse, so he saved his colleagues from the bus. But those colleagues began to meet mysterious deaths in the order in which they had been seated on the bus. And on top of that, one of the colleagues that he saved frequently tried to take him out.
E: Hold on! Where did you hear all that?! The second half of that story seems to have been thrown in from another source.
I: Waaah, I wanna read the poems England wrote! I love poetry!
E: Don’t latch on to that detail!
G: I guess you’ve got an unexpectedly sensitive and romantic streak.
E: Shut up. So I do embroidery. That’s my final answer.
J: Thank you for your answer, England-san. I think we’ll be able to write a good article.
E: Right, right. Finally you’re getting it. Now then, I’ll proceed to harass you by sending you emails of my 3 gigabytes worth of photos of my embroidery works in a series of 12 megabyte attachments, so make sure you’ve got some disk space open, newspaper club. *Smirk smirk*
G: Sorry, but our clubroom’s computer has a maximum capacity of only 100 megabytes.
E: Just how many decades old is the bloody thing?!
I: Our computer’s brand new! And our TV’s one of the CRT ones with the strange wire things on top!
E: Are you taking the mickey?! You call that new!?
J: Don’t worry, I bring a new computer with me to do my work on.
Track 5- Tighten Your Body and…!
J: On to the next question. “I have a request for you, newspaper club. Russia-san is bulky, so I was wondering if it feels hard or soft if you punch him in the stomach. Please look into it.” Russia-san seems to be the subject of this question.
G: More like the victim of it.
I: Would you mind if I run away?
J: I think it’ll be hard.
I: Then I’ll put 90 cents on it being soft.
*scene change sound effect*
G: So that’s the question we were sent. Would it be possible for me to take just one shot?
Russia: Sometimes I can’t believe how bold you are.
I: Babababa… Germany…babababa…
R: Hmm… I suppose I wouldn’t mind too much, but can I ask you just one thing?
G: Go ahead.
R: You won’t punch a hole in my stomach, will you?
G: Oh, don’t worry about that. It only needs to be hard enough for me to get a feel.
J: That only happens in manga and movies.
R: Your arm won’t get buried inside me?
I: Waaah, that sounds scary!! It doesn’t look like you’d be able to pull it out again!
R: You won’t get scared even if my stomach splits and a smaller version of me comes out?
I: AAAAAAARGH! I’M GOING HOOOOME!!
G: You can’t actually believe he can turn into one of his folk crafts? Now then Russia, I’m sorry for having to ask you this, but do you mind?
R: Sure, whenever you’re ready.
*DOITSU PUNCH!*
Do you get it now?
G: I get it. Thank you.
I: *shouting in the distance* Did he split open?! He didn’t, did he?!
R: Eh heh heh! I sure did!
I: EEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!
G: My findings conclude that underneath his sweater there’s some fairly solid muscle, but I felt my fist sink into it.
J: In other words, we still have no idea.
R: Write a good article, ok?! By the way, if a newspaper at my place criticizes my boss, there’ll be a terrible BANG!
I: EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!
Track 8- Black and White…?
J: We’ve now arrived at the final question. The questions we received reads, “Who is China-san’s favorite character in The Annals of the Three Kingdoms?”
China: That’s obvious! Guan Yu! Guan Yu! Guan Yu! It’s Guan Yu!!
J: Why did you say it all cool the last time?
C: I’ve got the movie! Red Cliff isn’t the only movie version of The Three Kingdoms. There’s this one, and that one there, that’s an interesting one. And here’s a little-known gem! I’ll wrap them all up and give you a good price on them, so go ahead and choose 100 of them!
G: Don’t go selling that junk on school grounds!
C: I’ll give you my lowest price and throw in some video CDs—hey! Quit shutting down my business!
G: We’re all clear on the question about The Three Kingdoms. We just have one more request: “Investigate the panda that China always carries around on his back.”
C: Ah, this little guy. I never seem to notice him until he’s already back there. I’m not sure why, but all of them want to climb into my pack, so it’s not always the same one. That’s why they appear to vary in size.
I: Wow, so cute!
C: Sometimes I get freaked out because a fluorescent pink one will crawl in there. I really wish they wouldn’t.
J: Fluorescent pink, you say?!
C: That’s right! They’re all pink when they’re first born, but that’s because they’re bald.
J: You mean that color occurs naturally?!
C: Actually the pink ones are better. Sometimes pandas that are like Predators get in there. Even though it’s invisible, it has the same weight and feel as a regular panda. I laughed so hard the first time I saw one, though you can’t really see them.
J: It’s camouflaged?!
G: And all you did when faced with that was laugh?
C: If you’re going to be surprised by something small like that, you won’t be able to survive at my place. Watermelons, money, perverts and stuff like that explode, there are girls who show up naked in temple ruins insisting that they’re cosplaying and old ladies who rock climb on the Great Wall. Lately I’ve had to worry about the pandas and ryofu stalking me.
J: This is amazing. That statement was full of nothing but places to butt in with witty retorts.
I: Hey everyone, look at this! There’s a triangle-eared, long-tailed panda over here!
G: That’s a cat. I see. Thanks, China.
Man: China!!! This is terrible!!
C: What happened?
Man: Oh, it’s awful! The ryofu have taken over your house!
C: The ryofu again?! Why’re they so set on stealing my house?! Sorry, but I’ve gotta run!
J: Ah, thank you very much… Huh, I had no idea that the ryofu were still around.
G: And that they would target someone’s house while they were out… China’s an incredible place.
I: This panda’s so cute.
G: It’s a cat.
*Meow*
Narrator: By the way, the ryofu is a large group of stray cats living around China’s house.
Track 7- Epilogue
G: Hmm, we should be able to write a very interesting article with all this strange information.
J: No matter what era it is, there are some mysteries that are better left unsolved, such as the one about the crystal skulls, or the Quimbaya golden jets, or the Cabrera Stones.
G: Out-of-place-artifacts, huh? Those’ve gotten pretty popular.
J: They certainly have. Probably because they Cabrera Stones were found to have been made by a modern-day person, the playful craftsman who made them drew things like cars and the like on them.
G: What a hopeless person.
I: Eh? So they predicted the invention of cars! Ancient people were amazing!
G: Ha ha. The world must be a fun place for a pure and innocent guy like you.
I: Eh? Ehhhhh?! You don’t think it’s fun, Germany?! But there are so many pretty girls on this earth! The fact that there are delicious things that I still haven’t tasted and pretty girls that I haven’t met yet makes me happy!
J: That certainly does sound fun.
G: Yeah, I’m jealous.
I: Ve, ve, ve, hmmhmmhmmmm~
G: Alright then, let’s compile all the data we collected into an article and submit it!
I: Yeah! I’m gonna work hard!
J: Yes, let’s do our best to produce a piece that’s fun and easy to read.
Narrator: Thus the newspaper club was able to finish collecting the data for their story. It seems that the W Academy will be able to successfully publish another issue of their paper again this month.
*Scene change sound effect*
France: Ehhhh?! There’s no opening in this month’s edition of the paper either?!
Canada: Yeah… It seems like that column was still empty just a little bit ago… But I guess it got filled.
F: Ehhhh?! When’re they gonna print my love poems?! Big Brother’s been writing and saving them up for months! They’re such wonderful masterpieces that reading just one sentence will make the reader want to marry me!
C: Wow… that sounds amazing!
F: I guess I have no other choice; Big Brother will just have to read them right here, right now! *In his “sexy voice”* Are you ready?
Narrator: And so France spent the next 134 minutes reading out his love poems. The end!
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And poor Canada, yours is truly a fate worse than death XD
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Russia is so cute~ And France reading love poems for over 2 hours...I want to hear them! xD
btw, shouldn't "The Annals of the Three Kingdoms" be "Romance of the Three Kingdoms"? Or is that something else? (also you mislabeled "Track 6" as "Track 8" by accident)
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Pffft this was really funny!
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Aha, I was scared that Germany might suffer a terrible fate from Russia, but I guess it was kind of ok? Canada is the one who ended up suffering the most.
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I really like that Japan seems to know a lot about England's personal life. The idea of Japan being someone England could confide in sounds great <3. I don't ship them in a romantic sense but them being excellent friends just makes me happy.
The mention about the EU was apt... ooops, as a nation I think we're still incredibly undecided on that. But let's not drag politics in!
Surprised that Russia was alright with being punched in the stomach! Won't say that France's bit at the end was a surprise at all (poor, poor Canada).
Thank you for translating lovely person that is you c:
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Urgh, damn. All are so cute. England, I love you. <3
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Gosh, I love the humor in these CDs! It totally gives you a different perspective of the characters sometimes!
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