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hetalia2011-04-25 11:17 pm
nike2422.livejournal.com) wrote in hetalia2011-04-25 11:17 pm
Entry tags:
[Fanfic] Påskekrimmen – Part III
Title: Påskekrimmen – Part III
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
nike2422
Rating: PG-13
Character(s)/Pairing(s): America, Belarus, England, Finland, Norway, Russia, Sealand, Sweden, Tony
Warnings: Death by murder? Some violence, nudity.
Summary: The mangled body of Tony is found in the snow in Siberia … or is it?
Older Stuff
Part IPart II
Part III
The taxi stopped in front of a large, comfortable looking house. America paid the driver and opened the door, stepping out first before helping Belarus out of the car. She still looked upset that Russia had decided not to join them. Together they walked to the front door and waited as Belarus pushed the button for the doorbell.
They heard shouting and feet running closer until the door flew open and Sealand looked at him. “Dad! Belarus and America are here!” His face had a ring of melted Easter chocolate on it. “Hey America! Did Jerk England come with you?”
“Hi Sport! Haha! No, Jerk England didn’t come with me.”
Belarus cleared her throat. “We are here to speak to Finland. Is he here?”
Sealand grinned at Belarus. “Nope! Mom’s warming up the sauna! It’s around back.”
Sweden appeared at the door. “Finland’s ‘round back. Come in.”
“Are you gonna join us in the sauna?” Sealand snickered, grinning at Belarus.
America cleared his throat as they entered the house. “We need to ask Finland some questions.”
“Actually, Banya sounds good.” Belarus replied.
“Eh … what?” America looked at Belarus. They needed to talk to Finland, not sweat in a hotbox!
Sweden nodded and led them through the house to the back door. Sealand danced around them and sprinted toward the sauna when they exited the house through the back.
“Mom! America and Belarus are here!” Sealand shouted as he rushed into the sauna, already stripping off his clothes and throwing them toward a bench.
“Sealand, h’ng up your clothes.” Sweden said, as he followed him inside and sat to take off his shoes.
Finland was already nude and had his hand on the door into the sauna proper when he saw the others come in. He glanced at them and smiled. “Hi there! Sealand don’t call me Mom. Come in when you’re ready, I’ll get it nice and hot for us.” He stepped inside and closed the door.
Belarus was already in only her bra and panties, which made America spin around and blush profusely. “Uh … are we all going into the sauna … together?”
The other three stared at the same time.
“Duh! Yeah, we all go in at the same time!” Sealand winked at Belarus, who ignored him as she stripped nude and followed Sweden into the sauna. “Hurry up, America!” He already had his hand on the door, “Get naked already.”
America’s blush reached down to his chest as he quickly disrobed. Was this even legal?
Sealand snickered as he opened the door. “You’re even more of a prude than Jerk England.” He stepped in and splashed himself with water in a bucket by the door before having a seat with the others on the bench. The room was already filled with steam and wet bodies as the others watched them enter.
America swallowed hard with his hands cupped in front to conceal himself. He walked in and watched Sealand and started to panic when he realized splashing himself would require moving one of his hands. Turning, he quickly splashed himself with water before shuffling to the bench to sit, his hands still cupped in front.
Belarus finished piling her long hair on her head before turning to look at Finland, who was busy splashing the stones on top of a small wood-burning stove with more water. “Now that everyone is here, America and l have some questions for you, Finland.”
Finland looked at her, the water ladle in his hand. “Oh?” He dropped the ladle back into the bucket of water next to him. “What do you want to know?”
“I’m sure you read the news about an alien body discovered in Siberia.” Belarus stated, leaning back and closing her eyes when the fresh wave of steamy heat reached her. “There is evidence that it might be America’s friend Tony, and the clues lead to either you, or Norway being the last ones to see him before he was killed.”
Sealand, Sweden and Finland all stared at Belarus.
Sweden cleared his throat, “What ‘vidence is that?”
America sounded like a young boy the way his voice raised and dropped sharply when he tried to speak. “A McDonald’s bag was found next to the alien’s body. Tony’s been missing for three days.” America looked right at Finland. "The sandwich had been a McLaks."
Sealand snorted with laughter, Sweden glared at him and looked at Finland who slowly shook his head.
“I haven’t eaten at McDonald’s in ages. I really don’t care for it much. I’ve never met Tony either.”
“ ‘nd he’s been home for weeks.” Sweden added, still giving America a hard look.
“What’s a McLaks? Never heard of it.” Sealand reached over to grab a vihta from the bucket on the floor. He handed it to Belarus and grabbed another one for himself.
“Sounds like somethin’ on Norway’s Menu.” Sweden added, taking the vihta from Sealand and lightly slapping the boy’s back with it.
America suddenly jumped up from the bench. Staring with shock and horror at naked Sweden flogging naked Sealand with a tree. “I … I uh … have had enough! Thanks … everybody … Oh God!” He spun around, stumbled over the water bucket by the door and knocked it over before opening the door and tumbling out of the sauna.
The others all stared at America, wondering what could be wrong with him. Belarus sighed, put her vihta back in the bucket and stood. “I need to go with him. Thank you for time in your banya.”
After they both had washed up and dressed, America called a cab and they waited on Finland’s front porch for it to arrive. America still felt very shy in front of Belarus. Seeing her naked had not been part of the plan today.
She sat frowning at the floor of the porch, lost in thought. “That report was wrong. Why was Finland listed with Norway?”
America shrugged. “No idea. We’ll have to talk to Norway now.” The cab pulled up to the curb then and they both were on their way to Norway.
It didn’t take long to get to Norway. They already knew he was enjoying his Easter holiday skiing and gave the cab driver directions to the ski lodge in the mountains. America watched the scenery outside his window. “It’s really beautiful here.”
“The mountains are very pretty.” Belarus added, still angry over the error on their information from earlier. It just wasn’t like these researchers to get things wrong.
They made another hairpin turn up the side of the mountain and the small lodge came into view. Smoke billowed from the chimney and there was a dim light coming from one of the windows. After paying for the cab, they walked to the door and knocked on it.
It took some time before the door opened. Norway looked at both of them, giving America a longer glance before stepping back to let them in. He walked over to a coffee pot in the kitchen and poured three cups of coffee for them.
Belarus stood quietly and watched him. America felt increasingly nervous by all of the silence and finally couldn’t help it. “Uh, Hi.”
Norway glanced at him. “Hi.” He put the coffee mugs on the table and pulled out a chair for Belarus. “Sit.”
Belarus did so, America sat in the chair next to hers. Norway pushed coffee mugs in their directions and sat down drinking his. “What can I help you with?” He looked over his mug at both of them.
Belarus spoke up first, glancing at the coffee. “If you’ve been aware of the news, the body of what appears to be an alien was found in Siberia. The only clue left with the body was a fast food bag and a food wrapper inside.”
Norway’s face showed no emotion at the words. He put his coffee cup down and sat back, looking at them both. “I see.”
“There’s only one country where McDonald’s serves a salmon burger with dill sauce.” America blurted out, annoyed at how cool Norway seemed to be.
“Really? That’s interesting. I don’t eat many burgers.” He sipped his coffee, looking down at the table, as though deep in thought. The floating curl next to his head curled up tighter.
Belarus frowned. “Do you understand what we are saying? This puts someone who eats McDonald’s in Norway at the scene of the crime.”
“I just said I don’t eat many burgers.” He gave Belarus a cool stare.
America jumped out of his seat. Planting his palms flat on the table, he leaned over and looked Norway in the eyes. “Did you fuckin’ kill Tony?!”
“Fuck no!” A funny voice said from a dark corner.
America’s eyes grew wide and he spun around. “…. TONY?”
The small grey alien shuffled into the dim light. “Freezing here. Fuck!”
Belarus gaped with wonder at the little alien. After all the time she spent searching for one, and here was a living one right in front of her. She froze in her seat, watching him come forward. This had to be Tony. He had the same habit with foul language that America had.
America leaped toward Tony and scooped him up. “I thought you were dead!”
“That was the fuckin idea.” Tony muttered.
“Huh? Why?” America stared at him.
“Damn it put me down!” The alien squirmed out of America’s arms and slid back to the floor. He walked over to Norway. “I’m hungry!”
“Fine.” Norway rose from the table and walked back into the kitchen. He pulled a pizza out of the freezer and unwrapped it.
“I don’t understand.” Belarus frowned. “Was the alien body we found a deception?”
“It was, little sister!” Russia’s voice filled the room. He walked through another doorway into the light. “Chicken skin stuffed with stale bread! Looked almost real, didn’t it?”
“You!” America growled. “I knew you were behind this! Why did you make me think Tony was murdered?” Balling his fists he glared at the much taller smiling nation.
Russia took a seat at the table. Nodding at Norway he looked down at Tony who climbed into America’s chair. “First, because it was fun to see you lose your cool like that. Second, Norway and I … ah … needed Tony’s help.”
Belarus shook her head. “That wasn’t very nice, big brother. Especially sending us to Finland’s house.”
“I needed to arrive at Norway’s house before you.” Russia replied. He enjoyed the range of emotions currently running across America’s face.
“What. Did. You. Need. Tony. For?!” America spat out.
Norway poked his head out of the kitchen.
“None of your business. Fuck!”
America looked at Tony. “What?”
“You heard him. He helped Norway and I with some UFO business between the two of us.” Russia smiled at America.
Norway appeared again, this time with a hot pizza. Tony grabbed the whole pie and devoured it.
“Anyone else hungry?” Norway asked.
“Pizza would be good.” Belarus sat next to Tony, staring at him with fascination.
Russia smiled at Tony as he tore into the pizza. “Pizza works for me too.”
America slouched back into his seat and glared sullenly at Tony. He wasn’t hungry.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Author’s Note: In Norway there is a very curious Easter custom involving murder mysteries. People in Norway love to read these stories for the holiday and many stories are published for Easter. With the recent news from the British Tabloid the Sun publishing the story about the dead alien in Siberia, I thought a murder mystery would be fun.
Author:
nike2422Rating: PG-13
Character(s)/Pairing(s): America, Belarus, England, Finland, Norway, Russia, Sealand, Sweden, Tony
Warnings: Death by murder? Some violence, nudity.
Summary: The mangled body of Tony is found in the snow in Siberia … or is it?
Older Stuff
Part IPart II
Part III
The taxi stopped in front of a large, comfortable looking house. America paid the driver and opened the door, stepping out first before helping Belarus out of the car. She still looked upset that Russia had decided not to join them. Together they walked to the front door and waited as Belarus pushed the button for the doorbell.
They heard shouting and feet running closer until the door flew open and Sealand looked at him. “Dad! Belarus and America are here!” His face had a ring of melted Easter chocolate on it. “Hey America! Did Jerk England come with you?”
“Hi Sport! Haha! No, Jerk England didn’t come with me.”
Belarus cleared her throat. “We are here to speak to Finland. Is he here?”
Sealand grinned at Belarus. “Nope! Mom’s warming up the sauna! It’s around back.”
Sweden appeared at the door. “Finland’s ‘round back. Come in.”
“Are you gonna join us in the sauna?” Sealand snickered, grinning at Belarus.
America cleared his throat as they entered the house. “We need to ask Finland some questions.”
“Actually, Banya sounds good.” Belarus replied.
“Eh … what?” America looked at Belarus. They needed to talk to Finland, not sweat in a hotbox!
Sweden nodded and led them through the house to the back door. Sealand danced around them and sprinted toward the sauna when they exited the house through the back.
“Mom! America and Belarus are here!” Sealand shouted as he rushed into the sauna, already stripping off his clothes and throwing them toward a bench.
“Sealand, h’ng up your clothes.” Sweden said, as he followed him inside and sat to take off his shoes.
Finland was already nude and had his hand on the door into the sauna proper when he saw the others come in. He glanced at them and smiled. “Hi there! Sealand don’t call me Mom. Come in when you’re ready, I’ll get it nice and hot for us.” He stepped inside and closed the door.
Belarus was already in only her bra and panties, which made America spin around and blush profusely. “Uh … are we all going into the sauna … together?”
The other three stared at the same time.
“Duh! Yeah, we all go in at the same time!” Sealand winked at Belarus, who ignored him as she stripped nude and followed Sweden into the sauna. “Hurry up, America!” He already had his hand on the door, “Get naked already.”
America’s blush reached down to his chest as he quickly disrobed. Was this even legal?
Sealand snickered as he opened the door. “You’re even more of a prude than Jerk England.” He stepped in and splashed himself with water in a bucket by the door before having a seat with the others on the bench. The room was already filled with steam and wet bodies as the others watched them enter.
America swallowed hard with his hands cupped in front to conceal himself. He walked in and watched Sealand and started to panic when he realized splashing himself would require moving one of his hands. Turning, he quickly splashed himself with water before shuffling to the bench to sit, his hands still cupped in front.
Belarus finished piling her long hair on her head before turning to look at Finland, who was busy splashing the stones on top of a small wood-burning stove with more water. “Now that everyone is here, America and l have some questions for you, Finland.”
Finland looked at her, the water ladle in his hand. “Oh?” He dropped the ladle back into the bucket of water next to him. “What do you want to know?”
“I’m sure you read the news about an alien body discovered in Siberia.” Belarus stated, leaning back and closing her eyes when the fresh wave of steamy heat reached her. “There is evidence that it might be America’s friend Tony, and the clues lead to either you, or Norway being the last ones to see him before he was killed.”
Sealand, Sweden and Finland all stared at Belarus.
Sweden cleared his throat, “What ‘vidence is that?”
America sounded like a young boy the way his voice raised and dropped sharply when he tried to speak. “A McDonald’s bag was found next to the alien’s body. Tony’s been missing for three days.” America looked right at Finland. "The sandwich had been a McLaks."
Sealand snorted with laughter, Sweden glared at him and looked at Finland who slowly shook his head.
“I haven’t eaten at McDonald’s in ages. I really don’t care for it much. I’ve never met Tony either.”
“ ‘nd he’s been home for weeks.” Sweden added, still giving America a hard look.
“What’s a McLaks? Never heard of it.” Sealand reached over to grab a vihta from the bucket on the floor. He handed it to Belarus and grabbed another one for himself.
“Sounds like somethin’ on Norway’s Menu.” Sweden added, taking the vihta from Sealand and lightly slapping the boy’s back with it.
America suddenly jumped up from the bench. Staring with shock and horror at naked Sweden flogging naked Sealand with a tree. “I … I uh … have had enough! Thanks … everybody … Oh God!” He spun around, stumbled over the water bucket by the door and knocked it over before opening the door and tumbling out of the sauna.
The others all stared at America, wondering what could be wrong with him. Belarus sighed, put her vihta back in the bucket and stood. “I need to go with him. Thank you for time in your banya.”
After they both had washed up and dressed, America called a cab and they waited on Finland’s front porch for it to arrive. America still felt very shy in front of Belarus. Seeing her naked had not been part of the plan today.
She sat frowning at the floor of the porch, lost in thought. “That report was wrong. Why was Finland listed with Norway?”
America shrugged. “No idea. We’ll have to talk to Norway now.” The cab pulled up to the curb then and they both were on their way to Norway.
It didn’t take long to get to Norway. They already knew he was enjoying his Easter holiday skiing and gave the cab driver directions to the ski lodge in the mountains. America watched the scenery outside his window. “It’s really beautiful here.”
“The mountains are very pretty.” Belarus added, still angry over the error on their information from earlier. It just wasn’t like these researchers to get things wrong.
They made another hairpin turn up the side of the mountain and the small lodge came into view. Smoke billowed from the chimney and there was a dim light coming from one of the windows. After paying for the cab, they walked to the door and knocked on it.
It took some time before the door opened. Norway looked at both of them, giving America a longer glance before stepping back to let them in. He walked over to a coffee pot in the kitchen and poured three cups of coffee for them.
Belarus stood quietly and watched him. America felt increasingly nervous by all of the silence and finally couldn’t help it. “Uh, Hi.”
Norway glanced at him. “Hi.” He put the coffee mugs on the table and pulled out a chair for Belarus. “Sit.”
Belarus did so, America sat in the chair next to hers. Norway pushed coffee mugs in their directions and sat down drinking his. “What can I help you with?” He looked over his mug at both of them.
Belarus spoke up first, glancing at the coffee. “If you’ve been aware of the news, the body of what appears to be an alien was found in Siberia. The only clue left with the body was a fast food bag and a food wrapper inside.”
Norway’s face showed no emotion at the words. He put his coffee cup down and sat back, looking at them both. “I see.”
“There’s only one country where McDonald’s serves a salmon burger with dill sauce.” America blurted out, annoyed at how cool Norway seemed to be.
“Really? That’s interesting. I don’t eat many burgers.” He sipped his coffee, looking down at the table, as though deep in thought. The floating curl next to his head curled up tighter.
Belarus frowned. “Do you understand what we are saying? This puts someone who eats McDonald’s in Norway at the scene of the crime.”
“I just said I don’t eat many burgers.” He gave Belarus a cool stare.
America jumped out of his seat. Planting his palms flat on the table, he leaned over and looked Norway in the eyes. “Did you fuckin’ kill Tony?!”
“Fuck no!” A funny voice said from a dark corner.
America’s eyes grew wide and he spun around. “…. TONY?”
The small grey alien shuffled into the dim light. “Freezing here. Fuck!”
Belarus gaped with wonder at the little alien. After all the time she spent searching for one, and here was a living one right in front of her. She froze in her seat, watching him come forward. This had to be Tony. He had the same habit with foul language that America had.
America leaped toward Tony and scooped him up. “I thought you were dead!”
“That was the fuckin idea.” Tony muttered.
“Huh? Why?” America stared at him.
“Damn it put me down!” The alien squirmed out of America’s arms and slid back to the floor. He walked over to Norway. “I’m hungry!”
“Fine.” Norway rose from the table and walked back into the kitchen. He pulled a pizza out of the freezer and unwrapped it.
“I don’t understand.” Belarus frowned. “Was the alien body we found a deception?”
“It was, little sister!” Russia’s voice filled the room. He walked through another doorway into the light. “Chicken skin stuffed with stale bread! Looked almost real, didn’t it?”
“You!” America growled. “I knew you were behind this! Why did you make me think Tony was murdered?” Balling his fists he glared at the much taller smiling nation.
Russia took a seat at the table. Nodding at Norway he looked down at Tony who climbed into America’s chair. “First, because it was fun to see you lose your cool like that. Second, Norway and I … ah … needed Tony’s help.”
Belarus shook her head. “That wasn’t very nice, big brother. Especially sending us to Finland’s house.”
“I needed to arrive at Norway’s house before you.” Russia replied. He enjoyed the range of emotions currently running across America’s face.
“What. Did. You. Need. Tony. For?!” America spat out.
Norway poked his head out of the kitchen.
“None of your business. Fuck!”
America looked at Tony. “What?”
“You heard him. He helped Norway and I with some UFO business between the two of us.” Russia smiled at America.
Norway appeared again, this time with a hot pizza. Tony grabbed the whole pie and devoured it.
“Anyone else hungry?” Norway asked.
“Pizza would be good.” Belarus sat next to Tony, staring at him with fascination.
Russia smiled at Tony as he tore into the pizza. “Pizza works for me too.”
America slouched back into his seat and glared sullenly at Tony. He wasn’t hungry.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Author’s Note: In Norway there is a very curious Easter custom involving murder mysteries. People in Norway love to read these stories for the holiday and many stories are published for Easter. With the recent news from the British Tabloid the Sun publishing the story about the dead alien in Siberia, I thought a murder mystery would be fun.