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hetalia2010-08-25 11:32 pm
isakana.livejournal.com) wrote in hetalia2010-08-25 11:32 pm
Entry tags:
(no subject)
Title: Grå
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
isakana
Characters: Denmark, mentions of the other Nordics
Rating: G...?
Warnings: None
Summary: Kink meme de-anon, to a request that asked for Denmark being monophobic/scared of being alone. I read the wiki on it, and it said about hating yourself, but I focused on him hating being alone.
I hope I portrayed it correctly, and that you enjoy it~
It was grey. All grey.
The whole sky was covered with looming grey clouds, and they were all I could see out of that gap in the solid walls, small as I was. I just knew that they'd left me again, refusing to take me with them on their raids, not even to stay on the ship. I knew they were scared of me, how I could remain a child for so long, and how I knew much more than an average child, but I hated this loneliness so much that I forced them into accepting me.
It took me a long while to realise that I didn't like being alone. At all. In fact, I hated it.
So it was in that solitary, lonely moment, that I swore that I would always surround myself with people.
I'd clung to the Kalmar Union as long as possible. Sweden wanted to leave, and Finland was slowly growing closer to him than me. I let them leave that night since I had no choice: I could no longer hold Sweden. I reminded myself that I was not alone, Norway and Iceland were still with me, and they would always be here for me.
Or so I mistakenly believed. Naive and optimistic, I should have realised that Norway hated me and wanted to leave. He spent as much time away from me as possible, and when he left, it was hard to pick up the pieces and put a smile on my face. I still had Iceland. I still had someone who cared, didn't I...? I knew that by now, I wouldn't be able to cope without someone. By now, I'd suppressed this... hate of loneliness to such an extent that it would spring up, like coiled wire, and consume me.
Iceland left. He simply left, without a backwards glance, and became independent. The rest of the continent were rebuilding their country, and getting into uneasy peace, fragile and yet so important, but I was trying to rebuild my own mind. I realised that the oncoming tide was not hate but sheer fear. I'd never been so alone, since the day I'd made that promise to myself, all those years ago, and it gripped me, sending me down into a spiral of trying to go it alone and failing, always always ending up in bars or hospitals, continuing to drown my fear in strange liquids, vision becoming more and more black each time. I leapt at chances to leave home, be with people, even if it was merely walking though the streets of Copenhagen. Where most people complained at the amount of politics, I threw myself into them, going to every meeting and more. I knew that when I got home, the smile would leave my face and I would begin to shake, tremble at the notion of being so alone in the world. I wanted so desperately to be human, because I could have normal friends, go to school and work, and share my worries with someone. Anyone.
It's the situation I'm in now. I can't go anywhere. It's worse than usual, and I hate it. I can't move, because I'm shaking too much. I tell myself that there's nothing to be scared of, yet it feels like I'm going to disappear, and I'm all alone...
Author:
isakanaCharacters: Denmark, mentions of the other Nordics
Rating: G...?
Warnings: None
Summary: Kink meme de-anon, to a request that asked for Denmark being monophobic/scared of being alone. I read the wiki on it, and it said about hating yourself, but I focused on him hating being alone.
I hope I portrayed it correctly, and that you enjoy it~
It was grey. All grey.
The whole sky was covered with looming grey clouds, and they were all I could see out of that gap in the solid walls, small as I was. I just knew that they'd left me again, refusing to take me with them on their raids, not even to stay on the ship. I knew they were scared of me, how I could remain a child for so long, and how I knew much more than an average child, but I hated this loneliness so much that I forced them into accepting me.
It took me a long while to realise that I didn't like being alone. At all. In fact, I hated it.
So it was in that solitary, lonely moment, that I swore that I would always surround myself with people.
I'd clung to the Kalmar Union as long as possible. Sweden wanted to leave, and Finland was slowly growing closer to him than me. I let them leave that night since I had no choice: I could no longer hold Sweden. I reminded myself that I was not alone, Norway and Iceland were still with me, and they would always be here for me.
Or so I mistakenly believed. Naive and optimistic, I should have realised that Norway hated me and wanted to leave. He spent as much time away from me as possible, and when he left, it was hard to pick up the pieces and put a smile on my face. I still had Iceland. I still had someone who cared, didn't I...? I knew that by now, I wouldn't be able to cope without someone. By now, I'd suppressed this... hate of loneliness to such an extent that it would spring up, like coiled wire, and consume me.
Iceland left. He simply left, without a backwards glance, and became independent. The rest of the continent were rebuilding their country, and getting into uneasy peace, fragile and yet so important, but I was trying to rebuild my own mind. I realised that the oncoming tide was not hate but sheer fear. I'd never been so alone, since the day I'd made that promise to myself, all those years ago, and it gripped me, sending me down into a spiral of trying to go it alone and failing, always always ending up in bars or hospitals, continuing to drown my fear in strange liquids, vision becoming more and more black each time. I leapt at chances to leave home, be with people, even if it was merely walking though the streets of Copenhagen. Where most people complained at the amount of politics, I threw myself into them, going to every meeting and more. I knew that when I got home, the smile would leave my face and I would begin to shake, tremble at the notion of being so alone in the world. I wanted so desperately to be human, because I could have normal friends, go to school and work, and share my worries with someone. Anyone.
It's the situation I'm in now. I can't go anywhere. It's worse than usual, and I hate it. I can't move, because I'm shaking too much. I tell myself that there's nothing to be scared of, yet it feels like I'm going to disappear, and I'm all alone...