[FST]

[sephy-j-maxwell.livejournal.com]

Artist: Me
Character(s) or Pairing(s): Lithuania, Russia.
Rating: None.
Warnings: Some angst, some slightly sappy, and a context that will confuse people who love rape-truck one-dimensional Russia, because I see him as having very complex feelings indeed.
Summary:I said I'd never disclose mine because it's embarrassing to me for some reason. But after talking with enough people who admit to having their own, I decided to get mine out there! This one's Russia/Lithuania because it's my longest. This is what I listen to when I write (which obviously I do a lot). In italics are the parts that get me best, though for many of these it's the whole songs. If you can't find any of these I will upload them, but the list is too long to do it all together. So request uploads all you like! I uploaded it here: http://www.megaupload.com/?d=1CALYB4G



01 - Undisclosed Desires by Muse
Russia->/<-Lithuania
Please me
Show me how it's done
Trust me
You are the one
I want to reconcile the violence in your heart
I want to recognize your beauty's not just a mask
I want to exorcise the demons from your past
I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart

02 - The Sinner in Me by Depeche Mode (You'll notice a pattern for this band from me)
Russia->Lithuania
If I could just hide
The sinner inside
And keep him denied
How sweet life would be
If I could be free
From the sinner in me

I'm still recovering
Still getting over all the suffering
More known for my anger
Than for any other thing
But you've always tried
To be by my side
And catch my fall when I start to slide

03 - This Night by Black Lab
Russia->Lithuania
So, take this night.
Wrap it around me like a sheet.
I know I'm not forgiven,
But I need a place to sleep.
So, take this night.
Lay me down on the street.
I know I'm not forgiven,
But I hope that I'll be given
Some peace.
Some peace.

04 - Nothing's Impossible by Depeche Mode
Russia->Lithuania
Just give me a reason, some kind of sign
I'll need a miracle to help me this time
I heard what you said, and I feel the same
I know in my heart that I'll have to change

Even the stars look brighter tonight
Nothing's impossible
I still believe in love at first sight
Nothing's impossible

How did we get to be this far apart?
How did we get to be this far apart?
I want to be with you, something to share
I want to be here, I'm not there

05 - Open Your Eyes by Snow Patrol
Lithuania->Russia (Soviet)
The anger swells in my guts
And I won't feel these slices and cuts
I want so much to open your eyes
'Cause I need you to look into mine

Tell me that you'll open your eyes

Get up, get out, get away from these liars
'Cause they don't get your soul or your fire
Take my hand, knot your fingers through mine
And we'll walk from this dark room for the last time

06 - Beautiful Disaster by Kelly Clarkson
Lithuania->Russia
He's soft to the touch
But frayed at the end he breaks
He's never enough
And still he's more than I can take
Oh and I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

07 - Don't Look Away by Joshua Radin
Lithuania->Russia
Your stare is like a spot on the sun,
I'm blind but the only one,
Who knows what to say to you,
I say it today to you...<...>
You can't see me now,
All those games you play,
I can't know you now,
I need one more day,
Cause I want to tell you...
Don't look away, if you do than I may,
No one knows truth not even you,
You let your mind show,
Hate that I've known,
That I've been there before,
Don't look away anymore.

08 - Downfall by Matchbox 20
Russia->Lithuania, pretty much the whole song but...
I wonder how you sleep
I wonder what you think of me
If I could go back
Would you have ever been with me
I want you to be uneased
I want you to remember
I want you to believe in me
I want you on my side<...>
Be my savior
And I'll be your downfall

09 - Damaged People by Depeche Mode
Russia->Lithuania (Basically these lines especially because as nations they don't have much a choice of how they live their lives--but they can love who they choose, their only real freedom. OK SO THIS IS KIND OF DEPRESSING orz )
We're damaged people
Praying for something
That doesn't come from somewhere deep inside us
Depraved souls
Trusting in the one thing
The one thing that this life has not denied us

10 - Love Will Tear Us Apart by Fall Out Boy
Russia->Lithuania
Why is this bedroom so cold?
Turned away on your side.
Is my timing that flawed,
Our respect runs so dry?
Yet there's still this appeal
That we've kept through our lives.
Love, love will tear us apart again

11 - Snuff by Slipknot
Russia->Lithuania (My god, the whole song. After Soviet specially. Don't miss out on this song.)
Bury all your secrets in my skin
Come away with innocence and leave me with my sins
The air around me still feels like a cage
And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again

So if you love me let me go
And run away before I know
My heart is just too dark to care
I can?t destroy what isn?t there

Deliver me into my fate
If I?m alone I cannot hate
I don?t deserve to have you
Ooh, my smile was taken long ago
If I can change I hope I never know

12 - A Pain That I'm Used To by Depeche Mode
Lithuania->Russia (Kind of sardonic/bitter)
Can you say, what you're trying to play anyway?
I just pay, while you're breaking all the rules
All the signs that I find have been underlined
Devils thrive on the drive that is fueled

All this running around, well it's getting me down
Just give me a pain that I'm used to
I don't need to believe all the dreams you conceive
You just need to achieve something that rings true

13 - Science by The Birthday Massacre
Russia->/<-Lithuania
Wake you up, pull you out
Talk you up, to calm you down
Turn it up and scream and shout
Make you tired, wear you out
Shut you up, and turn you up
Clean you up and take you on

I'm not the only one, who's bleeding
Before the past is done, repeating
It's underneath my skin, it won't die
This time if I can't win, then I won't
Try to, carry on
I'll play it since you recall
Tonight won't be so long
I'll pray for a miracle

14 - Sore by Wintersleep
Lithuania->Russia
You can tell me everything I wouldn't care
You know that I'll always be there
Right by your side, no matter what
No matter what they say

Consciously endure
Every ache and sore
Consciously endure
Every ache of yours

15 - No, I don't Remember by Anna Ternheim
Russia->Lithuania (Post Empire/Soviet)
Remind me of how, I used to feel
Remind me of who, I used to be back when
Nothing could come between us then
That thought would never leave us

'Cus I don't remember
Love needles in the hay
The life I knew by heart, and lived everyday
The secret codes and signs, you and I, and eye to eye
Wake me up, hurt me, you have to
I forgot how to cry

16 - You Could Be Happy by Snow Patrol
Russia->Lithuania (The whole song, well, except once where he says girl obviously lol)
You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than I'd been by far

Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true

Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do

17 - Flames by Vast
Russia->/<-Lithuania
Close your eyes
Let me touch you now
Let me give you something that is real
Close the door
Leave your fears behind
Let me give you what you're giving me

18 - The Darkest Star by (Big surprise here) Depeche Mode
Russia->/<-Lithuania (I saved this for last because each verse switches)
Oh you sad one
Playing the Angel
Isn't so easy where you're from (Describing Lithuania)

Oh you wild one
Devil's companion
You won't stay satisfied for long (Describing Russia)

Oh you dark one
Eternal outsider
Caught in the spider's web you've spun (Describing Russia)

Oh you blind one
Gentle and kind one
Seeing the world as a loaded gun (Describing Lithuania)

I don't want you to change
Anything you do

I don't want you to be
Something else for me

Comments

[januaryentropy.livejournal.com]

I have to say that I very much love you for this. because you and I see eye to eye with Russia. I'm tired of one-sided rape-truck Russia when he's so obviously deeper than that.

The music here is not only in wonderful taste, but also very fitting~ I enjoyed this a lot, thank you for sharing! ^^

[sephy-j-maxwell.livejournal.com]

Russia might make mistakes and take things he should ask for, but he [i]does[/i] have the ability to feel bad about it afterwords. But the fics I see only seem to want blood and angst and bodily harm. Give me the [i]feeling[/i] behind all that! A love or desire so strong it's an obsession, and he has to be reminded to slow down. Aaah, I ramble. I listen to this music when I write to remind me of Russia's feelings and Lithuania's endurance as well as his own deep love. Wow that was sappy. lol

Glad you like my taste in music.♥

[iwanttobeedo.livejournal.com]

I love your choice of songs for this FST. I'm almost jealous of how well done it is in comparison to my own RussLiet FST... >>;

[januaryentropy.livejournal.com]

Ahh, see? I agree with you completely-- I couldn't have said it better in so few words... I'd have to ramble for ages about it, haha. I hope to maybe read something of yours that you write while listening to music~
I do that all the time i write, by the way, so I'm glad I'm not alone with that.

And you have a great taste in music my friend~

[sephy-j-maxwell.livejournal.com]

I've had a little over two years to put it together, so don't feel bad. XD

[sephy-j-maxwell.livejournal.com]

My LJ post here (http://sephy-j-maxwell.livejournal.com/10598.html) has most of the fics I did with a link to the kinkmeme where I started out. But my ff.net (http://www.fanfiction.net/~sephielyajmaxwell) has the best of those I think. ♥

[iwanttobeedo.livejournal.com]

Btw... download link? @_@

[sephy-j-maxwell.livejournal.com]

Here you go! http://www.megaupload.com/?d=1CALYB4G

[iwanttobeedo.livejournal.com]

Thanks! ^^;

[rischosi.livejournal.com]

To be honest, the rape-truck approach bothers me because... I mean. It might have something to do with how much you like Ivan as a character, how deeply you read into him.
I go farther than any psychiatrist would dare, I think... And it seems you do, also. And many other crazy fangirls. 8D Which is cooler than Gilbird, yo. (:

And as soon as I can use the computer instead of my iPod, I will be downloading fo sho!

[sephy-j-maxwell.livejournal.com]

I agree, it really looks into how much you like him as a character and not just a figure of some non-con fetish. Speaking of psychiatrist I went through the entire DSM to find a diagnoses for him that I use for my asylum au, so yes, I would say I go pretty deeply. XD Glad you like the list!

[rischosi.livejournal.com]

Then again, my girlfriend hates him and in crackRP she does a pretty good job on him. Probably because really, they're more alike in some ways than she'd care to admit. XD As it is, he's such a multi-fasceted character you can really get ANYTHING out of him.
His fangirls have significantly more pity, though, for sure. Ahaha...
Oh.
Asylum AU, you says?
I am interested. :0 Can I have a link, pretty please?

[sephy-j-maxwell.livejournal.com]

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5752342/1/Love_Insanity ♥

I have a lot of fics with Ivan, usually IvanToris. My old kinkmeme fics are here (http://sephy-j-maxwell.livejournal.com/4129.html)!

[rischosi.livejournal.com]

Asfsdassdasssadadaadadafafsdsdsssdasagsgdgdf eee <3
Holy hambaga, I think I love you. *v* Just 'cos it's easier to gush over here than on FF, but man I'm enjoying this asylum thing going on here. Seriously. D: /waits like a good littel fan for next chapters
God, I'm so mushy today. :I Sorry 'bout that.

[sephy-j-maxwell.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you like it! ♥♥ The next chapter should be soon. ^^ You can also reach me on DA here: http://sephielyajmaxwell.deviantart.com/

[rischosi.livejournal.com]

WOOHOO DOWNLOADED

/total party yes